Hunger Games - The Peeta Mellark Story
by rahavens
Summary: Peeta Mellark POV. Kinda AU, but mostly stays true to the book. I love reading Peeta Mellark POVs. The only problem is, I feel he is often misrepresented. Often times, Peeta is made out to be a character whose only purpose is to love Katniss. People write him too one-dimensionally. Look forward to discovering new layers of Peeta that you have never seen before.
1. Author's Note

**Author's Note**

(You can skip this and head over to the Chapter 1 if you like. But please consider reading this so you can be better prepared for my writing.)

Hi! Thanks for giving me and my vision a chance! I just want to start off by saying that I am a huge Hunger Games fan. I've read each of the books several times. Though, one of my favorite parts about being such a big fan of the books, is becoming a part of the Hunger Games fan fiction community.

I love reading the works by the people on this site. I have personally read through tons of what you guys have written. It is so fun to get a look at what people have been able to do with the characters, whether that be AU or not. So, being a student filmmaker and writer myself, I decided I wanted to get in on the action. But first, to answer the question that is probably on your mind…

_Why another Peeta POV, and why should I read yours?_

Good question. First let me just say that Peeta is my absolute favorite character in the series (Finnick comes in at number two, but Peeta beat him to it). I find that I can relate to him a lot, and as I read all the books, I felt like I really understood what he was thinking. Now, like I said, I love all of the fan fictions I have read on this site, and I have read a ton of Peeta POVs. Unfortunately, I feel like Peeta is often misrepresented as a character in his POVs. Allow me to explain.

I feel like most of the time, people write him as too much of a 1 dimensional character. His love for Katniss seems to be the only thing that is on his mind throughout. He isn't written as an independent. Plus, there doesn't seem to be much of a progression in his love for Katniss. He just instantly loves her fully from the start, leaving little room for development. For example, most HG Peeta POVs make it so that Peeta wants to die in the arena for Katniss right from chapter 1. That is something that I have never felt to be true. Though, I don't think he would kill Katniss, I still feel like he wants to win. It is over time that his relationship grows with her as he gets to know her better that he decides he cannot live without her. Now I am not denying that he feels a connection to her immediately, that is something I obviously don't avoid (as you will see). Also I give Peeta layers that I haven't really seen in other fan fictions that I feel are essential to his character. Hopefully you will pick up on them as you read.

Did I scare you off yet? Hopefully not. I just need you to trust that I know what I am doing with the character. I promise that by allowing Peeta to fall for Katniss more and more as the books go on, it will make the endgame all the more satisfying. **I am not saying this book will have no romance. OF COURSE IT WILL. **It is such a major part of Peeta's character and is so much fun to read/write.

So give me a chance. I am going to quickly note that the _number_ of reviews, favorites, and follows aren't all that important to me. What is important is getting feedback, whether positive or negative. I want to hear what you guys think. It is what will ultimately make me a better writer. If you love it, let me know why you love it. If you hate it, let me know why you hate it. Also feel free to let me know what you would like to see more or less of. Or if you have any suggestions, let me know. I am more than happy to hear from you guys. I will be posting author's notes before each of the chapters with updates and other things.

Okay, so since this is the launch of the book for me, I am going to release the first 5 chapters right away (cause I love you guys). I'm thinking about releasing a chapter or two a week past that (depends on the demand). I am already past Chapter 13 as I am writing this, so hopefully I am ahead enough so that there shouldn't be any delays. At this point, you can probably expect that I will continue onto Catching Fire and Mockingjay as soon as I am finished with this one. I have some really cool ideas for those books that I cannot wait to delve into. And with that, I will leave you to read.

Thank you all so much who are giving me a chance and reading my work. I have worked really on this. I am having so much fun writing it. Hopefully you will enjoy reading it too.

-Ryan


	2. Chapter 1 - Morning Sunshine

**Chapter 1**

The sun still hasn't risen.

My eyelids grow heavier, begging me to surrender to the warmth of my bed. Instead, I sit up and rub my eyes violently. I sit in silence, escaping into my thoughts for some time. My brother sleeps silently in the bed across from me. His mouth open wide, a pool of drool in his pillow. I'm happy one of us got some sleep.

Rye Mellark. He is only a couple years older than me, but he looks much older. Like me, he has golden hair and deep blue eyes. A Mellark trademark. This will be the last year he will be in the reaping. I'm still a couple years away from that luxury. His body lies in such a still and peaceful manner, I can't help but be envious. How can he be so calm? How does he block out the fear? I don't understand how he can be so numb to the world. My mother calls him empty-headed, always fading in and out of reality. It's a fair assessment.

I'm much different. My mind always races. Constantly observing and calculating. I'm always trying to stay a step ahead of everyone, thinking of what to say or do next. I hate it. It makes my problems worse and my triumphs insignificant. Stress eats away at me constantly. It makes me feel so alone. The smiles and jokes only a facade to hide the loneliness I feel inside. I wish I was more like Rye.

I'm startled by the sound of clattering metal downstairs. The aroma of dough begining to fill the air. Though, growing up in a bakery has made me numb to the smell. My father. He's up earlier than usual. Like me, he probably couldn't sleep. I sit up and throw on a plain white shirt. I change from my sweatpants into some more suitable tan pants. I try to quietly sneak downstairs so I don't wake anyone.

"Morning sunshine. Mind keeping it down, the district isn't ready to get up yet." Cob Mellark, my oldest brother. I let out a sigh and look over to see him chuckling to himself. I hate when he calls me that. But I know he is looking for a reaction, so I smirk and lightly punch his arm. "Odds are, no one got any sleep anyways." I let out.

"Do me a favor Peeta, don't talk about odds today. We'll be hearing enough of that later." Cob says with a wide grin. We both break out into laughter. He is referring to the infamous quote by Effie Trinket, the escort for the District 12 tributes. _May the odds be ever in your favor_.

I suddenly stop laughing. I can't help but think about what is coming today. The Reaping. Where one boy and one girl from each of the 12 districts is taken from there homes to be thrown into an arena to fight for their survival. Coming from District 12, it is basically a death sentence. The winners mostly come from the first couple districts. The Hunger Games have been going on for over 70 years. Why? To punish us. And for the enertainment of The Capitol. That's how I see it anyways.

Cob notices how troubled I have suddenly become. He lets out a sigh and places his hand on my arm to reassure me. "Everything is gonna be alright buddy. You're name is only in there five times. I know some people from The Seam that have their names in there over 40 times. You only have a couple years left." Cob's voice is stern, yet welcoming.

The more times you enter your name into the pool, the more benefits you can collect from it. If you live in The Seam in Districts 12, it is a small price to pay over starving. Several kids from The Seam go to school with me, I think no less of them. I actually admire them. It is a tough life to live growing up in The Seam, one that is usually short.

I let out a small smile and a nod, then he embraces me in a hug. Cob is just like my father. Kind, caring, and selfless beyond comprehention. My father and Cob are what I strive to be like when I grow up. They are both better men than I am. Growing up, I resented Cob. He was always better than me at just about everything. And mother loves him. But as I grew older, I started to distinguish the difference between resentment and jealousy. Now he is my closest friend.

"Now come on, help me set up shop. Dad couldn't sleep so I'm letting him sleep in. We are opening early this morning." Cob pulls away and pats my shoulder assuringly. I nod and throw on an appron.

The next few hours, Cob and I work silently baking and preparing the bakery. Since he is the oldest, and frankly, the best, he will eventually inheret the bakery from my father. Plus, it is probably what mother would want. I have a feeling Cob will keep me and Rye around to help out with the bakery when we get older. But when he gets married and has kids, I don't know if there will be room for us. I try not to think about the future too much. But as I said, there is no stopping my brain.

My father makes his way downstairs. He has heavy bags under his eyes. No sleep. I'm guessing he is as worried as me."Fine work boys. We should be able to be up and running by dawn." My father smiles and pats me on the shoulder. He gives Cob a thumbs up.

"Well, what did you expect old man, Peeta and I are pros." Cob says with a wide grin. He is obviously proud of our work. My father lets out a hearty laugh and playfully pushes Cob. I can't help but let out a wide smile myself.

I make my way over to the cupcakes to frost. This is my favorite part about working in the bakery. It helps occupy my mind. I get lost in the decorations, putting all my focus on making each cupcake unique and beautiful. Out of the corner of my eye I notice someone waiting outside patiently. I didn't even hear him approach the door. I guess hunters have to adapt to be quiet like that.

In seeing him, my father lets out a big grin. He goes over to let him in even though we haven't technically opened for the day yet. "Mr. Hawthorne, what have you got for me this morning?" My father lets out with a smile.

Gale Hawthorne. He is a hunter from The Seam. He is tall, dark, and handsome. The fact that he is also a hunter makes all the girls at school swoon. Though he is mostly quiet, he is a good person at heart. That's all I have to say about him. My father must be feeling awful generous today, as he gives Gale far more than he should for his haul. I'm not surprised, my dad has always had a soft side for the youth, especially those from The Seam.

"Where is Miss Everdeen this morning? I was looking forward to some of her squirel." My father asks.

"She may swing by after The Reaping sir. If not she'll be around. We love what you do here." Gales says with a small smile.

This gives my father great pride. He can't hold back a huge grin at the compliment. My father is a great man, he deserved that. "Best of luck to you two." My father adds. Gale lets out a small smile and nods before quickly leaving, as if he is late for something.

The hours pass by far too quickly. I try to focus entirely on the cupcakes, but the nerves keep coming back. Before I know it, it is one o'clock. Time to get ready for The Reaping.


	3. Chapter 2 - Katniss Everdeen

**Chapter 2**

I get dressed in one of Cob's old outfits that he wore when he could be reaped. Rye dresses in one of my father's old dress shirts and pants. We don't look extravagant, but we will look better than most. It doesn't really make me feel good. I quickly fix my hair in the mirror so it doesn't look like a total disaster. As if it even matters. I probably won't be noticed.

Rye and I share a silent walk to the square, where we will be surrounded with every other kid from ages 12 to 18 in the district. The boys and girls are separated into two halves of the square. Then we are organized by age. The closer two o'clock comes, the shorter my breaths become. My nerves are on end. I feel like I am on the verge of a panic attack. As we wait I close my eyes and let out slow, and deep breaths.

I hardly notice the Mayor begin his speech. I ignore it because I have heard it thousands of times. I feel like I could recite it. This is the part where he introduces all of the victors from our district. We have had two in 74 years. Only one still lives. Haymitch Abernathy. He won in the 50th games. He has become something of a joke around the district, known for being drunk at all times. I feel sorry for him. The games must have destroyed him. He tries to give Effie a hug, but she fends him off. It is so embarrassing, it is kind of hard to watch.

Before I know it, Effie Trinket is preparing to call the names. "Ladies first." She exclaims. I find her enthusiasm disturbing. It is quite the sight to see, a woman dressed in these insane outfits and caked in makeup. The Capitol is truly a whole different world.

"Primrose Everdeen"

The square was already silent. Somehow, it became even quieter. I notice how shocked my expression was. Primrose Everdeen was a 12 year old girl. Her name couldn't have been in the pool more than once. How could this happen. I look over and notice her sister, Katniss Everdeen. Shock. Terror. Disbelief. I can't quite describe her reaction.

As Primrose makes her way to the stage. People begin to get angry. But all they do is quietly murmur to one another. What else can they do but watch as a 12 year old girl marches to her death. My breaths become faster and shorter. I feel like my heart is going to explode. Until we hear it.

"Prim! Prim!" Katniss' scream is heartbreaking. She pushes through the crowd and makes her way towards her sister. She pushes herself in front of Primrose and does the unthinkable. "I volunteer! I volunteer as tribute!" Katniss stands in front of her sister as if to protect her. My heart drops into my stomach. The square falls so silent, it might as well have been empty. At least, that is how I feel.

I know Katniss Everdeen. Well, kind of. I actually wish I knew her. Ever since I was 5 years old, I have had a huge crush on her. She is average height, slender, but not as much as most people in The Seam. She has these grey eyes that can shoot right through you. Her hair is brown, and is generally set up in a braid. But her looks aren't what have my attention. Well, it is part of the reason, but not the main one.

When I was 5 years old, my father told me he was in love with her mother, but she chose a coal miner instead. I didn't understand this. Why would she choose a coal miner over a baker? Surely she could have had a better life with a person who wasn't living in The Seam. Plus I admired my father so much, I couldn't imagine why anyone would deny him. But then he told me, when Katniss' father would sing, even the birds would stop to listen. So, while we were in our music class, our teacher asked if any of us knew the valley song. Well, Katniss' hand shot right up. And I swear, listening to her sing, made my heart feel like it would shoot out of my body. The birds stopped to listen. After that, I was a goner. I couldn't work up the courage to talk to her.

Years passed. I was still too nervous to talk to her, but I don't know if my crush was as strong. I was growing older, and I began to notice other girls. I really never had a problem talking to girls. None of them had my stomach in knots more than Katniss Everdeen. I would still find myself looking at her from time to time, wishing I had the courage. But I had given up.

We are now 11. Shortly after her father died, her family went through hard times. Katniss stopped showing up for classes. Rumors flew between the kids that she had died. It was a sad time for many of the children who lost their fathers. It was a bitter January night, the rain was coming down hard, freezing as it reached the ground. I was alone with my mother in the kitchen, baking bread. She was especially bitter this cold afternoon after ending a fight with my father over something that probably didn't matter. The kitchen was so hot, I decided to open the door to let in some of the cool air when my mother noticed a small girl, Katniss.

She was digging through the trash trying to find something suitable to eat. I didn't recognize her at first, I just saw a poor little girl who was starving. My mother pushed me back and promptly told me to wait. The obscenities come flying at the poor girl, cursing her to leave before she called the peacekeepers. She slammed the door, going on about the disgusting people from The Seam. Then I look out to her and recognize her. I couldn't sit there and watch her starve. As my mother stormed passed me to get her jacket and her umbrella, I burn two loaves of bread. I turn to my mother to apologize, but before I can get a word out, my mother strikes me with the rolling pin. This reaction was not surprising. She hurts me all the time, mentally and physically. Even today. I think since I was the youngest, and an accident, she uses me as a punching bag for her problems. I think that is why I have such emotional problems.

She tells me to feed it to the pigs and makes sure that I know how invaluable I am. The rolling pin hurt, but the words cut deeper. I run out to Katniss with the bread. My head was pounding from the blow. She struck me right below the eye. I throw the small burned spots of the bread to the pigs, then run a little closer to Katniss. I check to make sure my mother wasn't watching, then toss the two loaves of bread to her. Then I quickly return to the bakery and shut the door. I return to a beating. Burning two loaves of bread is money, and we were hit with hard times. So she made each blow count.

The markings looked bad on my face. No one brought it up to me at school though. Not even my friends. Most people knew about my mother and her temper. And the schools made it a point to avoid conflicts with the parents as much as possible. So my teachers never mentioned them. I passed Katniss a couple times at school, but I still didn't have the courage to speak to her. Especially looking like this. It was embarrassing. At the end of the day, I was able to catch her gaze for a second. But then we both look away.

That was one of the last real encounters I had with her. I had all but moved on. I spoke with many girls as I grew up. Yet, none of them really left an impression. Other than that, she would stop by the bakery a couple times a week and trade with my dad. Even then, neither of us would look at each other. I was usually fixed on the frosting when she came by. But I always hoped to talk to her someday. Now she is being sent away to the games to die.

It went over my head at first. I heard it, but it didn't process right away. Then it hits me, and everyone around me is staring. My jaw drops open and I feel my eyes fill up. I try to fight the tears, but I cannot. Effie Trinket had just called my name. I am going to die.


	4. Chapter 3 - Saying Goodbye

**Chapter 3**

As I slowly press forward, I look over to Rye. He is staring at me, his face empty with shock. I just notice the tears running down his cheeks before I turn towards the stage. Effie looks impatient, so I pick up the pace a little. I am breathing in short breaths, and I am feeling lightheaded. My mind is racing a hundred miles an hour. I'm trying to find a way out of this. I have always had a way with words that got me out of problems. Not this time. Other than my legs, I'm frozen.

I only now notice the empty, dead look on Katniss' face. She looks as if this doesn't even bother her, like this is no big deal. She looks strong. I look weak. I try to mimic her, but I can't. I'm in too much shock. I was always afraid of the future, but at least then I had one. Now I'll be dead in a week's time. I need to accept this.

Effie faces me towards the crowd. I'm able to compose myself a little. Only by filling my dread with despair and acceptance of my fate. After the mayor finishes speaking Katniss and I have to turn to one another and shake hands. I take her warm hand in mine and shake it. I give her hand a squeeze. I'm not totally sure why. I look her straight in the eyes. I hold on to her hand a moment too long and she pulls away. We turn to face the crowd for one last look before we are hurried into the Justice Building.

We get an hour to give our goodbyes to our loved ones. 23 tributes will be saying goodbye for good. I'm guessing I'll be one of them, so I want to make this count. The first through the door are my brothers. I try to stay strong, but looking at the tears in their eyes gives me great sorrow. They both embrace me and I lose it. I sob heavily into Cob's shoulder. They hold me up, barely. After a couple minutes I begin to compose myself so I can at least stand by myself. Cob takes my shoulders and looks me in the eyes. His eyes welling with tears.

"Listen to me Peeta. You are strong. You are so strong. Use it to your advantage. Okay? Okay?" Cob looks desperate. He doesn't believe I'm making it out of there. I appreciate that he is trying.

"Yeah Cob. I'll try." That is all I can muster before the guards come in and take them away from me.

I try to pull myself together. I close my eyes and take deep breaths. I have never been good at burying feelings. I always just confront my problems head on or talk to someone to make me feel better. I don't think I can face it right now. I allow myself to swallow the pain and harden my face. The next person to visit me is my father. I feel an immense pain in my chest, looking at the pain in his eyes. I don't think I have the energy to sob again. That is when he embraces me, no words spoken. I hold him as he cries. I can't hold back my tears.

As the guards come to take him away, he puts his hand on my face. With tears in his eyes, he is able to muster up the strength to say one last thing. "I love you Peeta." Then he is gone. I will never see him again. My head is burning and my chest feels like it is going to explode. I let out a few dry sobs and fall back into the couch.

I look up, and to my surprise, my mother stands over me. I let out some slow breaths and attempt to control myself. I can't look vulnerable in front of her. It is silent for a while as she looks at me. I can't make out what she is thinking. Her expression is empty.

"Well, maybe District 12 will finally have a winner." She says suddenly. I look up to her in shock. My mother believes in me. My body loosens up and I open my mouth to thank her but she cuts me off. "She's a fighter, that one is."

_She._

She was talking about Katniss. I look away from her. I can't. I feel so rejected by her. It is silent for a few more minutes before she turns and leaves. The peacekeepers didn't need to take her. I sit in silence. I am ashamed of myself. I am not good enough for her.

Fifteen minutes pass before the peacekeepers take me and throw me into a car. My tears are gone, but my expression is empty. And I know it is obvious I was crying. So I don't bother to try and cover it up. Katniss gets in the car a couple minutes later, then we drive off. I felt alone before. But now, as we are driving further and further away from home, I feel more alone than I ever have. I don't just feel alone, I feel empty.

As soon as we are escorted into the train, I make my way to my room. I run into Haymitch Abernathy on the way towards my room and I try to stop him to introduce myself. He just throws his hand up and tells me he is going to take a nap or something. I shake it off and head into my room. It is nicer than any bedroom I have ever been in. I shared a small room with Rye back at the bakery. We only really used it for sleeping and the rest of our time was spent working. As soon as I find the shower, my body instantly relaxes. I have never taken a hot shower before. Occasionally I would get to take a hot bath after boiling the water, but it was too time consuming. Bathing has always been a necessary chore, not used for enjoyment.

I must have been standing under the stream for 30 minutes before I figure it is time for me to get out. My bare skin has turned red from the heat of the water. My body is relaxed for the first time since I had been announced. I step out of the shower and find a plain black shirt and sweatpants. Effie said we could wear whatever, so I thought I would dress comfortable.

My hair is still wet as I enter the dining room. The room is empty except for a table full of dishes. I find a seat and begin to run my fingers against the wood. It's a nervous reaction. I still don't feel comfortable here. My head is pounding, and I can't help but think about what my family is up to now.


	5. Chapter 4 - Train Rides

**Chapter 4**

It isn't long before Katniss and Effie make their way to the dining room. Katniss is wearing a green shirt and pants, and I can't help but stare at her. This may be the first time I have seen her with her hair down. Her hair is still wet so I'm guessing she just hopped out of the shower. Aaaaand she noticed me staring at her. Great. I look away and pretend I was just looking that direction, and she just so happened to sit where I was looking. I don't think she took too much notice of me though. Effie breaks the silence.

"Where's Haymitch?" Effie brightly asks.

"Last time I saw him, he said he was going to take a nap." I say looking down at the table. Still tracing the wood with my fingers.

"Well, it's been an exhausting day." She quickly retorts. I don't think she is complaining about his absence. I'm not sure if I want him here right now or not.

Then comes the food. I have never seen so much food for just three people. Carrot soup, green salad, lamb chops, mashed potatoes, cheese and fruit, and to top it off, a chocolate cake. The cake looks bland, but food to me right now is food. I am not complaining. I eat so much, I don't want any of it to go to waste. I look across from me and notice Katniss is inhaling her food as well. Good, I guess I'm not the only one. Effie compliments our manners, but if my mother had seen me eat like this, she would have a fit.

I regret eating the food that fast and to that quantity immensely. I feel like the food is going to come right back up. The food is too rich. I have a hard time getting up and making my way into the other compartment to watch the highlights of the Reaping. I notice Katniss is feeling the same way as me. Why even now do I still feel too nervous to talk to her? I'm facing certain death and I still can't work up the courage to talk to this ordinary girl. I guess it is because she isn't ordinary. She has an effect on me.

We sit in the compartment and turn on the television. One by one, we watch each reaping. The first couple districts have volunteers. This comes as no surprise. These people train for the games, it excites them. We aren't technically supposed to train for the games, but The Capitol turns a blind eye to it. Hauntingly, we witness a 12 year old girl from District 11 get reaped. She is short, and has very dark skin and eyes. She has no sister to volunteer for her. It is tragic. She won't last long in the arena.

Then we watch our reaping. Katniss calling out for her sister. I guess I must have blacked out because I don't remember everyone giving the three finger salute to Katniss. Was I dreading that she was picked? I don't remember what I was thinking. Everything happened so fast.

I look as bad as I feared. After my name was called, I just kind of stand there for a second in shock. Frozen. Then I slowly make my way forward before picking up the pace. Katniss makes me look like a weakling. I need to get my act together if I want to have a chance in these games. Honestly, I don't think I have it in me to kill anyone. I don't think I could live with myself if I actually do win. Hopefully between now and when the games start, I'll open up to it. We shake hands, and head into the Justice Building, and the video ends.

"Your mentor has a lot to learn about presentation. A lot about televised behavior." Effie is clearly upset and embarrassed about the way Haymitch had been acting. I let out a chuckle.

"He was drunk, he's drunk every year." I let out with a grin. I notice Katniss lets out the first smile I've seen on her face in a long time.

"Every day." She adds. I look at her and laugh. She gives me a small smile then looks away. I guess it is progress.

"Yes, how odd you two find it amusing," Effie hisses. "You know your mentor is your lifeline to the world in these Games. The one who advises you, lines up your sponsors, and dictates the presentation of any gifts. Haymitch can well be the difference between your life and death!"

Her words take me back. I guess I didn't really think about it. Just then Haymitch staggers into the room and mumbles something out of comprehension, then proceeds to vomit all over the floor. Then, as fate would have it, he falls into his pool of vomit. I have to look away at the grotesque nature of what I just witnessed.

"So laugh away!" Effie exclaims before storming out.

I used to feel bad for Haymitch. In fact, I looked forward to meeting him and working with him. I was hoping he could help Katniss and me through this process. Now I can't stand the sight of him.


	6. Chapter 5 - Some Advice

**Chapter 5**

Awkward. That's the word I would use to describe the next couple hours. Uncomfortable probably fits too. Though, it isn't nearly as uncomfortable for me as it is for Katniss. I've picked up quickly on how Katniss expresses embarrassment or discomfort. For one, she will not make eye contact, or even look at the source of her discomfort. She also detaches herself from it by talking quietly and crossing her arms. She is demonstrating all of this while I attempt to bathe our drunken mentor.

We haul him into the tub, fully clothed and run the shower on him. At this point, Katniss is just getting in the way, and I want to get this over with as soon as possible. Plus, I can tell this isn't really in her comfort zone. Hard to believe she can kill and strip animals but can't handle this. Maybe she is more human than she wants people to see.

"It's okay," I turn to Katniss. "I'll take it from here."

Relief washes over her face. She looks at me as if I am doing her a favor by doing this. Honestly, I just want to get it done and it would just be easier if I did it alone.

"Alright, I can send one of the Capitol people to help you." Katniss is hardly facing me. She is backed up against the door frame as if she is ready to book it out of there. I do not want help. But, at least I can appreciate that she feels bad about having me go at this alone.

"No, I don't want them." I give a reassuring nod to let her know that I really don't mind. She nods back and just like that she is gone.

I'm not sure why I decided to do this. We could have easily left him on the floor for the night. And in his drunkard state, there is no way he will remember what I am doing for him. Bringing it up to him tomorrow is also not an option. All it would do is embarrass him and probably make him angry with me. Haymitch doesn't seem to be the type who wants much help with anything. So why?

I'm angry at him for showing no interest in the lives of Katniss and me. But I don't think I can just watch this man sleep in his own vomit over the night. I wouldn't wish that against my enemies. I guess that is just the kind of person I am. It's what Cob and my father would do.

After I strip him of his clothes, I take a bar of soap and quickly rub it against his body. I don't want to be doing this for too long. I imagine what Haymitch would do if he suddenly woke up sober and saw me rubbing him down with the soap. I can't think of a more awkward situation. How did I get here? I never would have pictured myself here this morning. Maybe it is all of the pain I've experienced along with my exhaustion, but I suddenly roll over on my back and laugh hysterically. This whole situation is just too strange, and I just can't help but find humor in it. It feels good. But I think it is probably a better indication of how emotionally drained I am.

After I rinse Haymitch off, I dry him and throw some pajamas on him that I found in his dresser. Carrying him is really no problem for me. I'm used to carrying several flour bags that are well over a hundred pounds around with me. So this is really no problem. I lay him gently in his bed and run the covers over him before I sneak out and head into my room.

I slip my clothes off as soon as I get into my room and head straight for the shower. I can still smell the vomit on me and it makes me sick. I take a much quicker shower to rinse the smell off my body before drying off and heading to bed. It doesn't take me long to drift into a deep sleep.

It feels like no time before I am awaken by Effie Trinket calling out to me. Apparently today is going to be a big, big, big day. Or, at least that is what Effie thinks. I get up quickly and throw on some clothes from the dresser. I have some bad bed hair but I don't bother with it. As soon as we get to The Capitol the stylists will have a field day on my body anyways.

As I enter the dining compartment Haymitch is already slouching over the table and drinking his coffee. I wonder if he remembers anything about last night. The thought of that makes me want to turn back to my room and wait for others to sit before I join them. I'm prepared to turn when he speaks up.

"Are you going to sit down or are you just going to stare at me. I know I'm pretty but lord." Haymitch says without looking up. He is chuckling to himself. Too late to turn around now.

I don't acknowledge his statement. I think he remembers last night and is trying to mess with me. I try to act like the statement doesn't bother me but it probably shows. I sit down and look at the arrangement set up in front of me, picking up a roll as soon as I notice a basket full of them. Next thing I know, Effie and Katniss enter the room. It is just then when I notice a cup with a hot liquid in it. The smell is familiar, having been lucky enough to drink it a few times. Hot chocolate. I instantly remember that Cob would dip his roll into the liquid. I guess I could give it a try.

Katniss has no idea what it is. She is just staring at it. She probably thinks it is coffee. I doubt people from The Seam have ever heard of hot chocolate. Let alone try it.

"They call it hot chocolate. It's good." I tell her with a smile. She looks at me with the most puzzled look. It is adorable. Like a puppy when it doesn't understand something. Butterflies fill my stomach. Damn nerves.

First she takes a sip. Then she drains it just as fast. She loves it. I think it is pretty funny, but I try not to show my amusement. Instead I turn my attention towards my meal. The bread is not great. It is okay. It doesn't seem like it was given much care. Maybe I'm just critical of it. My father takes great pride in his work. I guess I've grown up to expect the best.

"So you're supposed to give us advice?" Katniss says to Haymitch with a bit of venom in her tone. Like me, she has her doubts about Haymitch. I'm interested in hearing his response.

"Here's some advice," he begins nonchalantly, pointing his knife at us as he speaks. "Stay alive." He gets that out before breaking into a roar of laughter.

I haven't been this angry in a while. We are just two kids, looking for advice so we aren't brutally killed in an arena. And he laughs at us. I feel my blood boiling and I turn to look at Katniss. Her eyes meet mine. Her grey eyes filled with intensity. I let out a small sarcastic laugh.

"That's very funny." I'm nodding my head. My breaths getting shorter. Anger fills me up. I don't expect what I do next. I lash out and smack the drink out of Haymitch's hand. It smashes to the ground. I'm now looking him in the eyes. He is surprised. "Only not to us." I get out before his fist meets my face. I fall to the ground and consider getting up to retaliate before I notice Katniss drive her knife into the table. She was close to his fingers.

"Well, what's this?" Haymitch replies with a chuckle. "Did I actually get a pair of fighters this year?"

I ignore him and get up from the floor. I grab some ice from the fruit bowl and start to rub it against my jaw.

"No," Haymitch raises his hand to me. "Let the bruise show. The audience will think you mixed it up with another tribute before you've even made it to the arena."

"That's against the rules." I say as I start to raise the ice to my jaw again.

"Only if they catch you. That bruise will show that you fought, you weren't caught, even better." Haymitch says then turns his attention to Katniss. His logic makes sense. I guess he knows a thing or two considering he has been a mentor for over 20 years. I toss the ice on the table.

"Can you hit anything with a knife besides that table?" His attention now focused on Katniss. Without hesitation she removes the knife from the table and throws it deep into the wall across from her. She doesn't even look impressed with herself. Knife throwing, just another talent for Miss Everdeen. I wish I had some of her talents. I really can't do anything that will help me in the arena. My mother was right. District 12 may have a winner.

Haymitch then lines us both up and observes us. He concludes that we should be sufficient enough. We should also be attractive enough once the stylists get a hold of us. That comes as a relief to me because usually only the good looking tributes get any of the sponsors.

Haymitch agrees to help us as long as we don't interfere with his drinking. He claims he will be sober enough. I'm not sure I buy it, but it is better off than we were before so I can't complain.

"So help us. What's the best strategy at the Cornucopia for someone—" Katniss begins before Haymitch cuts her off. She is eager. She has no intention of losing.

"One thing at a time. In a few minutes we'll be pulling into the station. You'll be put into the hands of your stylists. You're not going to like what they do to you. But no matter what it is, don't resist." Haymitch's voice is more stern than before. Maybe he is taking this seriously now.

Katniss tries to argue but Haymitch shuts her down before grabbing the bottle of spirits and fleeing the car. Now it is just Katniss and I in the car. Silence. I want to say something to her, but I don't really don't have anything to say.

I probably look so weak to her. She saw what I looked like when my mother beat me, and now she saw Haymitch knock me to the ground. She probably doesn't see me as much of a threat in the arena. Would she kill me if she saw me there? Probably. She is determined to win. She doesn't really think much about me. I can tell. Since we were reaped, she has hardly even acknowledged me. Does she even remember the bread? I really don't know. I feel empty again. Worthless. Alone.

Just then, the train is in the Capitol. It is beautiful. We both approach the mirror, eyes glued to the buildings and the people. They are waving to us and shouting. No doubt they know we are tributes and have been waiting for trains to pull through. I put on my best smile and wave. If we plan on getting sponsors, we need to be likable. This is where it all starts. I have to put on this facade for the people of Panem for my life. My charisma is my greatest weapon.

Katniss backed away and looks at me with disgust. She probably doesn't know what I'm doing. After we pull away from the crowd I stop and back away, meeting her gaze. I see her judgment in her eyes. It bothers me. Was she not paying attention to Haymitch?

"Who knows, one of them may be rich." I say with a shrug. I sit down in my chair and drink some water. She is still looking at me before turning and leaving me alone. It bothers me, but I understand. I have to become the Capitol's lap dog to survive. It is kind of disgraceful. But so be it. 


	7. Chapter 6 - On Fire

**Okay, so I think for now I'm going to update twice a week. Tuesdays and Fridays. As of right now that sounds pretty good, especially considering my chapters are only between 1,500-2,000 words. This is one of my favorite chapters so far. This chapter, Peeta is introduced to a crucial character for the rest of the series. I'm still chugging away, writing as much as I can. When I hit winter break I should be able to crank out the rest of the book and hopefully get a good chunk of Catching Fire done as well. Okay, update complete, carry on.**

**Chapter 6**

The pain is intense. It is something I never could have predicted. I can't hold back the winces and the yells. I'm pleading for it to stop. My Capitol Prep Team is no joke.

After several hours of torture, I am considered suitable for The Capitol citizens. Maybe I'm over exaggerating, but it bothers me that I'm considered grotesque if I don't look up to their standards. They throw us in the Districts with little supplies and resources, and then have the gaul to judge us for "not caring about ourselves" and "looking like savages." We are generally focused on more important things, like not starving. I despise these people.

I lie naked on a table. At first I was embarrassed, but quickly got over it. The last step is rubbing a lotion over my entire body. It is cold. I find that it is hard to stay mad at them. They may be ignorant and rude, but they don't mean to. They really can't comprehend that I don't consider this a favor. So I cool down and try to be as polite as possible, answering all of their questions with a smile. I find that they aren't so bad. After they are finished, they say their goodbyes and leave me alone in the room. Still naked.

I wait impatiently for a couple minutes. I stand up and stretch out my body. Just then a young woman, maybe in her late 20s, early 30s, enters the room. My face turns bright red, and I try to cover myself up. She lets out a laugh and waves me off.

"It's really quite fine Peeta. I don't mind. I see people all the time." She states with a smile and I don't move. She puts her hand out to shake my hand. I decide I should probably just give in and accept that she is going to be seeing me naked anyways. I reach out and shake her hand and relax myself.

"I'm Portia, and I'll be you're stylist for this year's Hunger Games." She says with a smile. She doesn't seem to be bothered by my nakedness. It doesn't even faze her. She isn't caked with makeup like the rest of the people of the Capitol. She still abides by the style, but not to the extreme. This comforts me. She seems more human.

She has me put my hands to my sides and she walks around me. Observing me. She takes notes in her pad, examining all of the details. After she is done she puts the pad down and tosses me a robe. I throw it on over my body and I take a seat on the table.

"You are a beautiful boy. It shouldn't be too hard to get all of the girls in Panem to fall in love with you. You're going to make my job easy." She says with a smile. That was one of the nicest compliments I have ever heard. I can't help but give a big goofy smile.

"Thank you very much." I say. That made me feel good hearing that. I guess I didn't know what I was expecting. I thought my stylist would be mean and judging. Instead, Portia is kind and reassuring. I've decided I'm happy she is my stylist.

She leads me into a small room with a couple couches. I sit down in one and she sits down directly across from me. She presses a button and food rises from our table. It is quite the sight to see. As we eat, she asks me some personal questions first. About my family, my home, and whatnot. I think she is doing this to comfort me. It is working. I like to talk, so if you get me going, it relaxes me. She must have sensed that. After we eat she starts to move forward with her plans.

"Okay Peeta, let's talk about your outfit for the opening ceremonies. My partner Cinna is working with your fellow tribute, Katniss. We came up with the most wonderful idea." Portia is giddy. She must be excited for what she has stored for us.

"I'll be the judge of that." I reply with a smile. Portia smiles back. It's nice to have someone I can talk, and joke around with. I feel like this is the first real conversation I have had since The Reaping.

"Well, I think you will be happy to hear that Cinna and I are more creative than to put you in yet another coal miner outfit." She replies. The outfits of the opening ceremonies are supposed to represent the district you come from. Since District 12 is the coal mining district, just about every outfit has been related to coal. I guess since this is Portia and Cinna's first year, they want to mix it up. I'm happy to hear it.

"Why not? Coal mining outfits are all the rage in The Capitol." I say. Portia senses my sarcasm and lets out a squeaky laugh. She then relaxes herself.

"I have a question for you." She asks quickly.

"What's that?" I'm still smiling. She puts her hand on my knee.

"How do you feel about fire?" She looks serious, but she is still smiling. I can't help but laugh.

"I'm serious. Cinna and I had a wonderful idea of dressing you in outfits that are engulfed in flames. It will be truly remarkable and something the people of Panem have never seen before." She hopes I don't think too much about it when she says it, but she can tell by my face the doubt I have.

She wants to set me on fire!? What, so I'll burn to death before I even get to the arena. I don't say anything, but my facial expression does all the talking for me.

"Peeta. It is totally safe. Cinna and I came up with a synthetic fire. It isn't even a real flame. I promise." She looks at me reassuringly. I like this woman, but she is insane.

An hour later, I'm dressed up in a tight black outfit with a cape. I will admit, I look remarkable. Certainly more handsome than I have ever looked before. Portia leads me to the bottom of the Remake Center, which is essentially a giant stable. When I get a look at Katniss my heart drops to my stomach. She looks powerful, and beautiful. I can't take my eyes off of her. She is accompanied by Cinna and the rest of her prep team. Portia can't hold back her excitement. Her confidence would reassure me if Cinna didn't look so skeptical.

They arrange us in a chariot where two horses will carry us in a parade for the people of The Capitol. As soon as we are settled Portia and Cinna turn away to talk about things. Probably about what they are going to do when their tributes burn to death.

"What do you think?" Katniss whispers to me. "About the fire?"

"I'll rip off your cape if you rip off mine." I whisper back through gritted teeth.

"Deal." She whispers back. I'm not sure if I was serious or not. I think I was half joking, half serious. If it burns, I won't hesitate to rip it off Katniss though. If we come out of this with burns, The Capitol will just throw us in the arena anyways. They don't care.

"I know we promised Haymitch we'd do exactly what they said, but I don't think he considered this angle." Katniss whispers. I totally forgot about Haymitch. Shouldn't he be here to back us up and advise our stylists against this?

"Where is Haymitch, anyway? Isn't he supposed to be here to protect us from this sort of thing?" I say, mimicking my thoughts.

"With all that alcohol in him, it's probably not advisable to have him around an open flame." Katniss replies dryly. It was totally out of character of her to say this, but it was hilarious. Suddenly we are both laughing. This is the first time I have ever seen this side of her. I like it.

Suddenly the opening music begins. The nerves build up. I might just get burned alive on television for all of Panem to see. Even if it doesn't kill me, we'll be the laughing stock of the Games and never receive any sponsors. A lot is on the line here. We are trusting our stylists with our lives. The gate opens and the chariots begin to go. Suddenly Cinna appears with a lighted torch. I cringe at the sight and close my eyes. I didn't even notice it. I only feel a small tickling sensation. By god, out stylists are geniuses. Or just really lucky.

Cinna lets out a sigh of relief before lighting our head-dresses. "Remember, heads high. Smiles. They're going to love you." He says reassuringly before taking off behind us. That shouldn't be too much of a problem for me. I'm not too sure Katniss will be joining me in waving and smiling. The chariot begins to move forwards.

As we are moving, I notice Cinna yelling to us to do something. He is gesturing something with his hands. Does he want us to hold hands or something? That would be totally unusual, as most tributes ignore the existence of the other.

"What's he saying?" Katniss asks me. I look back at her. She looks stunning. Hopefully I do too.

"I think he said for us to hold hands." I guess. I hope I'm right. I grab her hand without permission then look back to Cinna. He smiles and gives us a big thumbs up. Then we are suddenly engulfed by the roars of the crowd.

She holds my hand tightly, using it to anchor her to the chariot. I give my widest smile to the crowd, waving and blowing kisses to the people. Surprisingly, I hear chants of District 12 throughout the stadium. Portia and Cinna are geniuses. We are so lucky to have them. This will do us wonders in the arena. I notice us on a big television. We look incredible. Katniss especially, but that might be my personal bias. Because of this, we will stand out. We have to take advantage of this. I notice I have lost almost all feeling in my hand. Katniss has it in a vice grip. She loosens her grip and begins to pull her hand away.

"No, don't let go of me." I say seriously, my eyes in hers. "Please, I might fall out of this thing."

"Okay." She says and gives a small smile. I'm a good liar.


	8. Chapter 7 - Soft Spot

**I don't have much to add today. Just a thanks to the people that have favorited and followed to this point! Don't be afraid to give me any suggestions or feedback in the reviews. I want to hear what you guys want for the story. Anyways, I really like this chapter (I'm probably going to say that about every chapter). This one has some stuff that I had the opportunity to be creative with. I like being able to develop relationships that Peeta has with others that really couldn't get much exposure in Collins' books. Let me know what you guys think of the chapter when you finish! Thanks again for reading!**

**Ryan**

**Chapter 7**

After President Snow gives his short welcome speech, the chariots return where we are reunited with Portia, Cinna and our prep teams. Portia extinguishes us with some sort of spray. Portia can't hold back her excitement. She has a wide grin on her face. Cinna looks more humble about it, but he still can't hold back a smile.

"See? What did I tell you Peeta Mellark? And you thought I was just going to let you burn to death!" Portia says with a laugh.

I can't help but shoot her a wide grin. I'm really happy for them. Hell, I'm really happy for us. We looked stunning. That's when I notice the stare we are getting from the other tributes. Jealousy. I try to ignore their gazes, but it isn't possible. Then I feel Katniss open her hand up. Our hands were still glued together after all this time. I let go and rub my hand. She does likewise.

"Thanks for keeping hold of me. I was getting a little shaky out there." I lie.

"It didn't show," She assures me. She shrugs. "I'm sure no one noticed."

"I'm sure they didn't notice anything but you. You should wear flames more often. They suit you." I confess. I give her a small smile, looking into her eyes. I feel the butterflies in my gut. She smiles to me and kisses me on the cheek. Right on my bruise. My hearts stops. I wasn't expecting that. I smile and she walks over to Cinna. I suddenly let out a deep couple of breaths. Yesterday I was wondering if she could kill me in the arena. I'm sure she could. But I definitely learned one thing today, there is no way I could kill her. No way.

Next thing I know, we are being escorted to the Training Center. Each district gets a floor where we will be living until the Games begin. Go into the elevator and press 12, should be easy enough to remember. On the elevator Effie goes on and on about something but I don't pay any attention. I'm thinking about other things at the moment. I just turn to her every couple seconds and nod to let her believe I'm listening. I catch the end of what she is saying.

"...and this was very clever of me, I said, 'Well, if you put enough pressure on coal, it turns to pearls!" Effie's eyes light up, expecting us to be blown away by her wit. Though it is wrong. Coal cannot turn into pearls. Maybe she is thinking about the myth that coal can be turned to diamond. I just kind of give Effie a nod and look over to Katniss. She looks like she is holding back a laugh. I smile and shake my head at her. She smiles back. Although Effie isn't the smartest person I have ever met, I admire that she seems to genuinely care about us.

Our floor is beautiful. Much nicer than any place I have ever lived. First only ahead of the train, which is really sad if you think about it. I head straight into my room and am immediately blown away by how big it is. I lie down on the bed for a second. It is so comfortable, I could just sleep right there and then. Instead I get up and change out of my outfit and hang it up in the closet. I go into the bathroom to clean the makeup off of my face, then I notice the shower. It is unlike anything I have ever seen. I play with all the dials on it for a while before shutting it off and moving on. I clean my face then I quickly threw on a long sleeved white shirt and tan pants. I find a jacket that is to my liking as well. I throw that on too. The closet is strange, needing programing to find the outfit of my choice. Is this all necessary? At home, we don't get anything to this stature, and these rooms are used only once a year. I try not to think about it too much before I get angry.

I step out of my room and head into the living room. It is empty. I sit on the couch for a couple minutes before Cinna joins me. We greet each other. I don't know Cinna all that well yet, so it is pretty awkward at first. Then an idea strikes him.

"I was about to head up to the roof. It is beautiful up there. Helps me think. Would you care to join me?" Cinna asks me. His voice is so smooth and relaxing. I give him an unsure look at first.

"Are we allowed to go up there?" I ask honestly. I don't see why The Capitol would allow it.

"I don't see any signs saying we can't." Cinna responds with a smile. I like that answer. We head up to the roof, it is really windy up here. As soon as I get a look at the city from up here, I am immediately taken away by the beauty. Cinna crosses his arms, smiling. He seems to be impressed that I appreciate it. Like me, Cinna takes joy in the beautiful things in life.

"Why do they let us up here? Aren't they afraid that we'll, well, you know, jump?" I ask him honestly.

Immediately after my question, Cinna reaches his hand out over the edge and his hand quickly jolts back. A force field of some kind zapped his hand. He looks over at me and shrugs. No words needed to answer that question. I lean against the railing and look over the edge.

"How are you feeling? I'm sure this is all, overwhelming for you." Cinna is standing next to me. His question honest. I feel like he is genuinely curious of my opinion.

"Well, It's a lot different than home. That's for sure." I respond. I'm afraid to say too much, in case the cameras can hear us.

"You probably hate us all, huh?" He asks honestly. I'm shocked by his question. I can't believe he would ask me that. If anyone could hear him, we would be in trouble. Though, I get the feeling Cinna doesn't care what others think.

"Umm, well..." I start before Cinna cuts me off.

"You don't have to worry. The cameras can't hear us up here. You can be honest with me." Cinna says with a smile. I nod and relax a bit. I feel safer now.

"Well. Not all of you. You and Portia for instance. You guys have done so much for us already. You guys are giving us a real shot out there." I say, now in a more relaxed tone.

"It's despicable. What they do to you. To all of you." Cinna is now looking over the Capitol. I'm in shock over what he just said. I have never hears someone so openly bash the Capitol. Especially a Capitol citizen. I gained a whole new level of respect for him. Before I get a chance to speak, Cinna speaks up again, stepping back from the railing.

"We should head in. Dinner is probably almost ready." He says pointing his head towards the doorway. I nod. We head for the door and before we head inside, Cinna stops me. "By the way, she's not as closed off as she leads on to be. She has a soft spot for you, baker's boy. I can tell." Cinna adds with a smile before opening the door and heading in. Is my affection for her that obvious? It was awfully nice of him to tell me this, but it really doesn't matter since we will both probably be dead in a week's time. Not that I believe it anyways.

Shortly after, we are all sitting at the table and eating. Haymitch, Portia, Cinna, Effie, Katniss, and me. I'm not paying too much attention to the conversation as I'm more focused on my strange conversation with Cinna. It was strange listening to him bash The Capitol. The place that gave him his wealth and success. It is odd that he would be so quick to say those things. I respect him for it. At least I have finally heard of a Capitol citizen who actually sees how insane the Games are. Maybe there are more of them? I quickly dismiss that thought and turn my attention towards my food.

"I know you!" Katniss shocked me back to reality. She is talking about one of our servers. A small red headed girl. Oddly quiet she and the other server has been. The adults all stare her down as if she just shot the president.

"Don't be ridiculous, Katniss. How could you possibly know an Avox?" Effie snaps. I'm not sure what that is.

"What's an Avox?" Katniss asks bluntly.

"Someone who committed a crime. They cut her tongue so she can't speak." Haymitch says between bites. "She's probably a traitor of some sort. Not likely you'd know her."

"And even if you did, you're not to speak to speak to one of them unless it's to give an order. Of course you don't really know her." Effie expresses.

Based on the look on Katniss' face. I can tell she knows. Her eyes are shooting around the table. She is trying to come up with a lie. But why? How does she know her? Probably not a very good memory if she ended up here.

"No, I guess not, I just—" Katniss stammers.

I snap my fingers. "Delly Cartwright! That's who it is. I kept thinking she looked familiar as well. Then I realized she's a dead ringer for Delly." I lie. Delly Cartwright looks nothing like the girl. It was the first person that popped in my head so I just went with it. She was a close childhood friend of mine. Hopefully Katniss rolls with it.

"Of course, that's who I was thinking of. It must be the hair." Delly's hair is blonde.

"Something about the eyes too." I add. I look at Katniss, a sense of relief washes over her. The table relaxes. I've got to get that information out of her. But I doubt she'll open up to me about it. It seemed like a personal matter, and I've only been on speaking terms with her for a couple days. Doesn't mean I won't try.


	9. Chapter 8 - Rooftops

**This chapter is a little shorter. It has a great Peeta/Katniss conversation though that you all know about. I can't wait until we get to the Games when I really stray from the source material! We are getting there, patience is a virtue. But, for those of you who are upset with the way Peeta has been thinking about Katniss, we are making progress in that. I promise, it will feel much more fulfilling and raw this way. Trust me! Okay, enough rambling from me. Hope you enjoy the next chapter, see you guys after Christmas on Friday!**

**Ryan**

**Chapter 8**

After we watch the opening ceremonies, we decide to call it a night. Both Katniss and my rooms are directly across from one another, so I follow her into the hallway until we reach her door. I lean against the frame of her door. I don't want to block her, I just want her to pay attention to me for a second. Aware of the cameras, I am very particular with my words.

"So, Delly Cartwright. Imagine finding her lookalike here." I say, glaring into her eyes. She knows what I'm asking. I want to know how she knows the Avox. She looks conflicted about telling me. Maybe she doesn't trust the cameras around us. Maybe she doesn't trust me. I try to believe it is the former and decide to suggest something to convince her to tell me. "Have you been on the roof yet?" I ask. She shakes her head. "Cinna showed me. You can practically see the whole city. The wind's a bit loud though." I continue. At this point, if she says no, it's because she either doesn't want to share, or she just doesn't trust me.

"Can we just go up?" She asks. I feel instant gratification that she trusts me with this information.

"Sure, come on." I smile. I head over towards the door, she follows. I open the door and hold it for her. She immediately makes her way to the railing. Her jaw is dropped at the sight. I'm pleased that she finds it as beautiful as I do. I join her over towards the railing. I'm standing only a couple inches from her so I can hear her over the wind. I tell her what Cinna told me about the force field. Then I quickly demonstrate by holding my hand out to it.

"Do you think they are watching us now?" She asks softly. Her arms crossed.

"Maybe." I shrug. They probably are. But they can't hear us. I'm confident of that. "Come see the garden."

I walk over towards the other side of the roof. She follows. The garden is actually quite the sight to see. The flowers are some like I have never seen before. She pretends to be admiring a blossom as she speaks.

"We were hunting in the woods one day. Hidden, waiting for game." she begins in a whisper.

"You and your father?" I ask dumbly. I already know the answer to the question.

"No my friend Gale. Suddenly all the birds stopped singing at once. Except one. As if it were giving a warning call. And then we saw her. I'm sure it was the same girl. A boy was with her. Their clothes were tattered. They had dark circles under their eyes with no sleep. They were running as if their lives depended on it." She stops for a second. Her face showing signs of sadness. She's thinking it over. "The hovercraft appeared out of nowhere. I mean, one moment the sky was empty and the next it was there. It didn't make a sound, but they saw it. A net dropped down on the girl and carried her up, fast, so fast like the elevator. They shot some sort of spear through the boy. It was attached to a cable and they hauled him up as well. But I'm certain he was dead. We heard the girl scream once. The boy's name. I think. Then it was gone, the hovercraft. Vanished into thin air. And the birds began to sing again, as if nothing had happened."

"Did they see you?" I ask. Just now I notice how cold she is. Her lips have turned blue.

"I don't know. We were under a shelf of rock." She says. I'm not sure she is telling the truth about that. But I'll give her the benefit of the doubt as she has opened up to me more than I would have ever guessed. She looks freezing. I undo my jacket and slowly pull it off.

"You're shivering." I say. I pull my jacket the rest of the way off and I wrap it over her shoulders. I don't wait for her permission. She is cold and she needs it. I guess it is a small way of saying thanks for opening up to me. At first she steps back, but then she accepts it.

"They were from here?" I ask as I secure the top button of the jacket. She nods. "Where do you suppose they were going?" I ask. There isn't really anything out past District 12. Except for the remains of what District 13 used to be.

"I don't know that." She admits. "Or why they would leave here."

"I'd leave here." I blurt out. Probably louder than I would have liked. I nervously look around. I doubt they could have heard me. Katniss glares at me. I let out a chuckle. "I'd go home now if they'd let me. But you have to admit, the food's prime." I figured I would add the food comment to cover everything else up if they heard my first comment. It is kind of true though. The food is great. After a small string of silence I suggest we head back. She agrees. I go back to what I was thinking about earlier.

"Your friend Gale. He's the one who took your sister away at the Reaping?" I ask. Of course I know who he is. He comes to the bakery all the time. Hopefully she doesn't realize my playing dumb.

"Yes. Do you know him?" She asks.

"Not really. I hear the girls talk about him a lot. I thought he was your cousin or something. You favor each other." I'm not sure why I brought this up. I guess I just wanted to get answers about them out of the way.

"No, we are not related." She says. I already knew that. But at least I know she is being truthful. I nod. Acting as if this is news to me.

"Did he come to say good-bye to you?" I ask. This question I don't know the answer to.

"Yes." She is looking at me strangely. Like she is trying to read me. "So did your father. He brought me cookies."

That one is a surprise to me. I raise my eyebrows in confusion. I have to think about it for a second. "Really? Well, he likes you and your sister. I think he wishes he had a daughter instead of a household of boys." I answer honestly. I think that is probably true. My mind goes back to the story of 5 year old me and my father. "He knew your mother when they were kids." I say to clear things up about why my father cared about them.

"Oh yes. She grew up in town." She looks surprised, but I honestly can't tell. I doubt her mother has ever mentioned my father. We are now at her door and she hands me my jacket. "See you in the morning then." She turns and heads into her room.

"See you." is all I can get out before she shuts her door and I turn towards my room. I wish we could have spoken longer. I honestly could have talked all night. I can't help but notice my jacket smells like her now.

What am I doing? I can't have feelings for her. Only one of us can walk out of that arena alive. There is no chance of us ever happening. I need to cut out all of my feelings for her. I throw my jacket into the corner of the room and lie down. I try to sleep, but all I can think about is her. There is no use in trying. She's got a hold of my heart.

I'm a goner.


	10. Chapter 9 - Secret Skills

**Okay, okay, okay, I know. I didn't upload on Friday. I was away for the holiday and I totally forgot my laptop with the chapters on it. BUT RELAX, I GOT YOU GUYS. To make up for it, I am uploading two chapters right now. Then we will be back to the regular Tuesday/Friday schedule. Okay, these two chapters have a lot of Katniss and Peeta moments. Some good, some bad. Hope you guys like! Also, don't worry, we are getting closer to the games, be patient!**

**Ryan**

**Chapter 9**

The shower feels good against my skin. I don't think I am in a particularly good mood today. I just feel helpless about my future. Everything I do now feels pointless. I'm going to be dead in a couple days anyways. Never to grow old. Never to find love. Never to have children of my own. The pain of these thoughts make my head hurt. I try to close my eyes and focus of the shower. I was hoping it would save me from myself. But as I said before, there is no slowing down my mind. I better relax myself, because today is the first day of training.

I step out of the shower and find an outfit laid out for me on my bed. Black pants, a long sleeved burgundy tunic and leather boots. I throw them all on quick and head out to the breakfast table. I run into Haymitch in the hallway while on my way out and we both greet one another. Katniss is already eating when we arrive. I let out a small smile when I notice she is dipping the bread into her hot chocolate. I guess it wasn't as weird as I thought. I notice she is wearing the same outfit as me. Kind of strange, but whatever.

We eat in silence for a while until Haymitch finally speaks up. "So let's get down to business. Training. First off, if you like, I'll coach you separately. Decide now."

"Why would you coach us separately?" Katniss asks.

"Say if you had a secret skill you might not want the other to know about." Haymitch says. It makes sense. But I don't have any secret skills that I know of. Or any skills to being with to be honest. So I'm okay with being coached together. Katniss and I exchange a look.

"I don't have any secret skills." I shrug. "And I already know what yours is, right? I mean, I've eaten enough of your squirrels." I look over at Katniss. I think we are in agreement.

"You can coach us together." Katniss tells Haymitch. She looks over at me again and nods. I just give her a small smile back. I'm tired. I didn't get much sleep last night.

"All right," Haymitch sits back in his chair, getting comfortable. "So give me an idea of what you can do."

I almost laugh. I'm feeling especially pessimistic this morning. "I can't do anything, unless you count baking bread."

Haymitch scowls and turns his attention to Katniss. "Sorry I don't. Katniss. I already know you are handy with a knife."

"Not really. But I can hunt. With a bow and arrow." She says. Damn right she can.

"And you're good?" Haymitch asks her. I already know the answer. Of course she is. If she says anything less than excellent she is lying to us.

"I'm all right." She finally says after thinking about it. I'm annoyed by her answer. Being modest isn't going to help anyone. Does she even want to win?

"She's excellent." I quickly respond. "My father buys her squirrels. He always comments on how the arrows never pierce the body. She hits everyone in the eye. It's the same about the rabbit she sells to the butcher. She can even bring down deer."

"What are you doing?" She looks at me suspiciously. I look at her dumbfounded. I'm annoyed.

"What are you doing?" I ask. "If he's going to help you, he needs to know what you are capable of. Don't underrate yourself." I turn my attention to my food again. I kind of regret admitting I knew so much about her, but honestly, who really cares at this point.

"What about you?" There is some anger in her voice. "I've seen you in the market. You can lift hundred pound bags of flour. Tell him that, that's not nothing." I'm shocked she noticed. Either way, it doesn't matter. That won't help me.

"Yes, and I'm sure the arena will be full of bags of flour for me to chuck at people" There is venom in my words. I don't know why I am getting so worked up. I try to calm down a little. I turn my attention back to my food, "It's not like being able to use a weapon. You know it isn't."

"He can wrestle!" She snaps. "He came in second in our school competition last year, only after his brother." How does she know all of this? I lose my temper again.

"What use is that? How many times have you seen someone wrestle someone to death?" I reply with disgust. She is bothering me now. She needs to stop talking me up. I don't have anything to offer. She is just annoying me at this point.

"There's always hand-to-hand combat! All you need is to come up with a knife, and you'll at least stand a chance. If I get jumped, I'm dead!" Her voice is rising. Her eyes burrowing into mine. I turn to her and yell. Louder than I wanted.

"But you won't! You'll be living up in some tree eating raw squirrels and picking off people with arrows." I try to lower my tone. But as soon as I do that my emotions fill up and I feel my breaths shorten. I think about what my mother said and how much that pained me. "You know what my mother said when she came to say good-bye, as if to cheer me up, she says, maybe District 12 will finally have a winner. Then I realized she didn't mean me, she meant you!" Tears begin to form but I successfully fight them back. Katniss has her arms crossed and she looks at me intensely.

"Oh, she meant you." She said shaking her head. This bothers me.

"She said, 'she's a survivor that one.' She is." I hiss at her. My face is hardened with anger. I am clenching my teeth together.

"But only because someone helped me." She mutters. She's talking about the bread I gave her when we were 11. I guess she does remember. I don't know how this makes me feel. I shake my head. I try to cast it off like it was nothing.

"People will help you in the arena. They'll be tripping over each other to sponsor you." I'm growing tired of this argument. I wish she would just understand.

"No more than you." She says firmly. I involuntarily let out a sigh and roll my eyes. Then I turn to Haymitch.

"She has no idea. The effect she can have." I refuse to look at her. I don't want to see her reaction. I just face the table and run my fingers against the grain of the wood. A nervous reaction of mine. It is silent for a little while after that.

Haymitch starts to ask Katniss some questions about hunting. She has it all down. I'm mostly ignoring them at this point. I just wish I could go home to my family. Cob would know what to say. I'm nothing like him. I'm nothing.

Haymitch then tries to tell me that my strength will help. But really, I don't buy it. I just nod and focus myself on the table. I'm trying to relax myself. I just want to escape into my room and sleep. He then advises that we spend our time in training doing things that we aren't familiar with. He doesn't want us showing off our skills to the other tributes. I can't argue that.

"One last thing. In public, I want you by each other's side every minute." Haymitch announces. Katniss and I exchange a look. We both don't want to be training together today. We start to object then Haymitch slams his hand against the table. "Every minute! It's not open for discussion! You agreed to do as I said! You will be together, you will appear amiable to each other. Now get out. Meet Effie at the elevator at 10 for training."

I'm starting to regret making that deal with Haymitch. When he was black out drunk he was tolerable, when he is more sober, he is bossy and rude. Katniss gets up abruptly and charges to her room, slamming the door. What a child. I'm so fed up with this right now. I just want to run away. I get up slowly and walk over to my room and lie down on my bed.

That is when it hits me. I know what Haymitch, Portia, and Cinna are planning. They want to pin us as a couple. It all makes sense. They dressed us in the same outfits for the opening ceremonies and had us hold hands. They always want us to be seen together. Hell, we are even wearing the same training uniforms now. That's why Cinna said what he said on the roof about her. _She has a soft spot for you, Baker's boy. I can tell_. I feel betrayed. I lie in my bed and think it over some more. The longer I sit, the more I cool down. I think about it some more, and some more.

Oh my God. This plan is brilliant.

It makes us look desirable. It gives the people of the Capitol something to root for. _Love._ I smile when I think about it more and more. I think I can pull this off. Well of course I can pull it off, I already have real feelings for her. It's just a matter of how she would handle it. There is no way she would go along with it. What with Gale home and everything. But it definitely has potential. Maybe it is better if she just doesn't know. Maybe she already figured it out too.

I would think more about it, but it is almost 10 and I need to meet Effie at the elevator for training. One of us may be coming home after all.


	11. Chapter 10 - Paradise

**Chapter 10**

We are the last ones to arrive in the Training Arena. All the tributes silently wait in a circle to begin. The silence is unnerving. But I guess it shouldn't be surprising, considering we will all be out to kill each other in a few days. It's hard to believe that all of us but one will be dead soon. I shake the thought from my head.

I have hardly looked at Katniss since this morning. If we are going to be a convincing couple, we need to at least be on speaking terms. I give her a couple quick glances, but she refuses to look my way. This may be harder than I thought.

I look over at all the other tributes while waiting. I'm bigger than most of them which gives me a sense of relief. When I look over at the Careers, I can't help but get intimidated. They are all strong and tall. They look healthier than the rest of us. Maybe the most intimidating part is their smiles. Unlike most of us, they want to be here.

The Training Arena gives us a lot of freedoms to do pretty much anything we want. There are several stations throughout the arena that are focused on different skills. Haymitch suggested we stay away from what we are already skilled in, so I won't go anywhere near the weights. Instead I'll focus more heavily on what I don't know.

Katniss is focused on looking around the arena. I need to make sure we are on the same page here. I nudge her arm and she quickly looks over at me, as if I broke her from a trance. "Where would you like to start?" I ask gently. She looks indifferent as she looks around the arena.

"Suppose we tie some knots?" She looks back at me.

"Right you are." I reply. She is going to play along. I was afraid she was going to ignore me and do her own thing. But she understands that Haymitch knows what he is talking about. I'm happy for the plan, but I'm honestly more relieved I get to spend some more time with Katniss. Even if she despises me.

I'm not the best with knots. Katniss basically has it all down. I learn a couple of the most basic snares, but I'm not sure I'll remember to use them in the games. Katniss certainly will. I don't think I'll live long enough to have to worry about food anyways. Now it's just about going out with dignity.

Camouflage is more my speed. The trainer is fully aware of my ability and watches as I mix the berries, clay, and mud together to create a perfect pattern against my skin. I'm able to make my hand nearly invisible. I'm proud of my work. Katniss doesn't seem as interested. She has her eyes fixed on the Career pack throwing spears.

"I do the cakes." I say, trying to get her attention.

"The cakes?" She turns to me, noticing the work I did on my arm. She looks impressed, I think. "What cakes?"

"At home. The iced ones, for the bakery." I smile at her. Her expression remains unchanged. She crosses her arms.

"Mr. Mellark, I am truly impressed." The trainer begins. I turn my attention to him. I can't help but let out a smile at his compliments. Maybe this is a greater strength than I anticipated. "The way you blend the lighter shades with the darker shades represent a sense of realism that, well, I wouldn't have expected from District 12. You truly have an eye for—"

"It's lovely." Katniss cuts him off. Her voice flat and condescending. "If only you could frost someone to death."

Ouch.

Those words hurt more than I thought they would. I turn to her, not angrily. I'm more discouraged than angry. "Don't be so superior. You can never tell what you'll find in the arena." I stop. Her face unchanged. I think again about what Cinna said. Maybe there was some truth to it. I've made her laugh before. So I put on a small smile. "Say it's actually a gigantic cake—"

"Say we move on." She interrupts suddenly before walking away. I look at her in silence as the smile fades away from my face. I look down at my arm and the instructor hands me a wet cloth to wipe it away. I get the feeling of loneliness wipe over me again.

"Trouble in paradise, huh?" The instructor jokingly asks. He nudges my arm.

Paradise. What a funny way of putting it.

The next three days are quiet. It mostly consists of Katniss and I traveling from station to station, quietly mastering each skill. I can't help but think that we might as well be separate because we don't appear to be enjoying each other's company.

Lunch in the Training Arena proves to be as awkward as expected. Most tributes choose to sit alone, except for the Career pack. Katniss and I sit together, usually in silence. Sometimes we pretend to hold conversation for the Gamemakers to see. I go on about bread for about 10 minutes. By the look on her face, she is ignoring me. But that is okay. She at least is pretending to be interested. We fake a laugh to further convince people that we are close. Though I'm not sure it was too convincing.

Katniss then tells me a story about when she was chased by a bear. Great, now I look even less interesting. Talking about bread may be the most boring topic possible. And here Katniss pulls out a story about a bear. The story is actually quite good. I find that, unlike Katniss, I take great interest in what is being spoken. Although the conversation isn't totally genuine, I feel happy that we are talking at all. I laugh and ask questions throughout. I really enjoyed her story.

Through the three days, I notice the 12 year old girl follow us around. She is quiet and quick, so a lot of times she catches me by surprise when I notice her. Her name is Rue. I learn quickly throughout training that she may stand a better chance than I originally gave her credit for.

Back on the District 12 floor, I can't help but feel bored most of the time. The only real human interaction I get there are when Haymitch and Effie grill us over what we did on the training floor. Usually there isn't much to report. This doesn't please Haymitch.

I wish Portia was around. I miss talking to her. She does such a great job of keeping my nerves at ease and making me feel good about myself. She always was interested in what I had to say, and she cared my feelings. No one can give me that now. Now I'm just trapped in my own head.

On the second night I was feeling especially homesick. I wanted to have someone to talk to. No, I needed it. While Katniss and I made our way to our rooms for the night, I tried to spring up friendly conversation.

"Someone ought to get Haymitch a drink." I turn to her with a smile.

She lets out laugh that puts my heart at ease. This was different from the fake laughter I was used to hearing in the Training Arena. I'm about to muster up the confidence to ask her to join me on the roof, but her expression changed suddenly back to the scowl I had become so used to. She puts her hand up to stop me.

"Don't. Don't let's pretend when there's no one around." Her words cut me. There is silence for a couple seconds, but it feels like hours. She may be pretending. But I'm not.

"All right, Katniss." That is all I can muster before turning towards my room and shutting the door behind me.

I sit on the bed for a little to think. I really needed someone to speak to. My gut feels empty. Thoughts of death in the arena continue to flash before my mind. Death isn't what scares me. Dying alone. Dying as just a piece of the Capitol's entertainment. A piece of their games. That is what scares me. I just wish I had someone who cared about me. Someone I could speak to. The tears fill my eyes quickly. Soon I feel my body grow weak. I push my face into my pillow and I sob violently. I just need to let all the pain and all the fear escape. This is the only way I can release.

It doesn't help much.

But something is better than nothing.


	12. Chapter 11 - First Impressions

**I'm sooooooo sorry. This time was my bad. I was driving home from vacation all day on Friday and I totally forgot to upload. So, yet again I am going to post two Chapters. Hopefully you guys like them! We are getting closer and closer to the games! I can't wait for you guys to see what I have written. Don't forget to review yo!**

**Ryan**

**Chapter 11**

On the third training day, the Gamemakers want an opportunity to get a look at what each of the Tributes has to offer for the games. Then they can assess and grade each tribute. So during lunch, they call each tribute back for a private session where the tribute can show off their skills. I'm going to be using my time throwing weights around the room. Katniss will surely be firing a bow and arrow. The room is silent while we all wait impatiently. Since we are District 12, we are going to be the last of the group. I'll go, then Katniss after. Eventually, we are alone. Suddenly, I am summoned.

I get up and make my way to the door. "Remember what Haymitch said about being sure to throw the weights." Katniss blurts quickly. I'm surprised she even cares. Probably just being nice. I turn to her and smile.

"Thanks, I will." I begin to turn towards the door again, then I stop and face her again. "You... shoot straight." I say before turning through the door and heading into my private session. It was a pretty lame response. I honestly couldn't think of anything more charming or clever to say. But it'll suffice.

I walk awkwardly into the gymnasium. I'm not really sure where to stand, but it doesn't really matter, considering most of the Gamemakers aren't paying me any attention. I call out to introduce myself but they ignore me. A couple turning towards me and watching. One of them points to their wrist, as if to tell me I'm wasting time.

I pick up a couple of the weights and throw them. They don't go as far as I know I can manage. One of the weights slips my grasp and almost hits my foot. That would have been embarrassing, and painful. I probably would be faced with a nasty foot injury.

I notice the Gamemakers singing and chatting as I try to impress them for my life. The fact that they are ignoring me makes me angry. I stare at them for a couple seconds before I turn to the heaviest weight that they have. Maybe it was the adrenaline, but I lifted it up with all of my might and threw it at least 20 feet in front of me. I let out a loud grunt in doing so to get their attention. The thud seemed to have gotten some of their attention. I turn to them panting heavily. I throw a couple more small weights before they dismiss me.

I quietly take the elevator to my floor. I'm not totally sure what to think. I had a couple good throws in there, but mostly they were just average. Plus I almost crushed my foot with a weight. I'll probably be getting a low score. But honestly, I'm not too sure I care.

After I take a short shower in my room, I hear a door slam. Katniss. She must have locked herself in her room. I'm guessing the session didn't go well for her either.

I head out of my room and find Haymitch and Effie standing at Katniss' door. They are trying to convince her to come out. She shouts at them to leave. Eventually they do. I stick around longer. I press my hand against the door. I hear her sob. I wish I could comfort her. I wish I could help her. Like I did with the bread. I sit down on the floor and lean my head against her door.

I think I fall into a half slumber before I notice Portia looking at me. Once I see her I let out a smile. I give her a big hug as if I hadn't seen her in months. I spend the next hour or so catching up with Portia. Even after only a few days, it feels like so much has happened. I spend most of the time talking. She's a good listener. Good is an understatement.

Soon after we gather for dinner. Haymitch, Effie, Cinna, Portia, and me. Katniss is yet to be seen since she stormed into her room. Shortly later, Katniss emerges before us. The table is quiet. All eyes on Katniss as she quietly takes a seat across from me. Whatever happened in the session must have been bad. She had obviously tried to cover up that she was crying. But it is obvious.

Shortly after, the adults begin to talk about the weather. I'm sure they are all wondering what happened, and are just stalling. I'm staring at Katniss. Have been for the past couple minutes. I want her to look up to me. Finally her eyes meet mine. She must have sensed my gaze. I raise my eyebrows at her, showing my concern. I want to know what happened in there. She just looks away. She looks emotionally drained from the tears.

Just as the main course is served, Haymitch asks the question that is surely on all of their minds. "Okay, enough small talk, exactly how bad were you today?" Haymitch is focused on Katniss. I speak up to ease the tension and to hopefully make her feel better.

"I don't know that it mattered. By the time I showed up, no one even bothered to look at me. They were singing some kind of drinking song, I think. So, I threw around some heavy objects until they told me I could go." I say. Hopefully that will make her feel better. Surely she couldn't have done worse than that.

Haymitch shows little interest in my story. He turns to Katniss and asks, "And you sweetheart?"

She lets out a sigh. "I shot an arrow at the Gamemakers."

Shock. Silence.

My jaw is probably hanging open. I notice I am not the only one with this reaction. No one says anything, which should be indication enough for Katniss to explain herself.

"I shot an arrow at them. Not exactly at them. In their direction. It's like Peeta said, I was shooting and they were ignoring me and I just...I just lost my head, so I shot an arrow out of the stupid roast pig's mouth!" She finishes. It is still quiet, you can almost hear all of our heads trying to wrap around what Katniss had been thinking.

Finally Cinna speaks up. "And what did they say?" Cinna's voice very soft, and concerning.

"Nothing. Or I don't know. I walked out after that." She explains.

"Without being dismissed?" Effie shrieks. I'm wondering why she took notice of this. This is nothing compared to what Katniss had just told us.

"I dismissed myself." Katniss shrugs. She is speaking calmly. As if she already has accepted what she did, and feels justified.

It is silent again before Haymitch lets out a grunt and starts to butter up a roll. "Well, that's that." He is shaking his head.

"Do you think they'll arrest me?" Katniss asks. I am wondering the same thing.

"Doubt it. Be a pain to replace you at this stage." Haymitch doesn't look away from the roll. As if he can't even look at her without losing his temper.

"What about my family? Will they punish them?" Katniss' voice is desperate. This has clearly been on her mind.

"Don't think so. Wouldn't make much sense. See, they'd have to reveal what happened in the Training Center for it to have any worthwhile effect on the population. People would need to know what you did. But they can't since it's secret, so it'd be a waste of effort." Haymitch still doesn't look her way. "More likely they'll make your life hell in the arena."

A wave of relief washes over Katniss' face. I don't think she cares nearly as much about her life as she does for her loved ones. I admire her for that.

"Well, they've already promised to do that to us anyways." I say as if it will make her relax. I'm not sure it did.

Haymitch finally looks over to Katniss and lets out a chuckle. "What were their faces like?" He asks. Amusement in his features. I look over to Katniss. I'm looking forward to the answer.

"Shocked. Terrified. Uh, ridiculous, some of them." She pauses. Then a grin forms on her lips. "One man tripped backward into a bowl of punch." The table erupts into laughter. How did the mood of the table shift so quickly?

Effie is the only one who doesn't laugh. But she can't suppress a small smile. "Well, it serves them right. It's their job to pay attention to you. And just because you are from District 12 is no excuse to ignore you." Effie's words surprise me. Of all the people at the table, she has always been the Capitol purest. "I'm sorry, but that's what I think."

"I'll get a very bad score." Katniss adds.

"Scores only matter if they're very good, no one pays much attention to the bad or mediocre ones. For all they know you could be hiding your talents to get a low score on purpose. People use that strategy." Portia says softly. It is just like her, always trying to comfort others. Crafting her words just right to remove any dread.

"I hope that's how people will interpret the 4 I'll probably get." I say. "If that. Really, is anything less impressive than watching a person pick up a heavy ball and throw it a couple yards? One almost landed on my foot." I admit. I look over to Katniss and smile. She smiles back before digging into her untouched food.

Afterwards we all gather around the couch and watch the scores announced on television. When my face shows up I grow very nervous. It feels like forever before the 8 shows up next to my name. I am shocked. An 8 is an excellent score. It is only a couple behind the scores of the Careers. We celebrate my score briefly before Katniss' face graces the screen. 11.

Effie lets out a squeal. Suddenly I'm insignificant and all the attention is turned to Katniss. Everyone cheers and congratulates her for her accomplishment. I can't help but feel a little jealous. It doesn't matter too much. I just kind of nod. I'm not sure if I should be happy or not. I'm certainly happy for her, and I honestly want her to win if it isn't me. But at the same time, I can't help but feel alone again.

Just the Portia turns to me to congratulate me and gives me a big hug. Then she kisses me on the cheek. "Well done Baker's Boy. I'm so proud of you." She exclaims with a big smile. Portia always knows just what to say.

After that Katniss and I head to our rooms. I want to say something to her, but she quickly runs into her room. I'm left alone in the hallway before I slowly slip into my room. I plop down on my bed, lazily throwing my clothes on the floor. I need some time to think. To strategize. The interviews are coming up, and I need to come up with something that will make me stand out. I don't think I will have too much of a problem speaking, as I am pretty charismatic as it is. I think again about the plan Haymitch, Cinna and Portia have conducted. Then it hits me. I need to move forward with this plan. I just need to think of a way to convince her to go along with it.


	13. Chapter 12 - Coached Separately

**Chapter 12**

I wake up bright and early. I need to speak to Haymitch before Katniss does. I'm looking for his opinion on how I should approach this. I quickly get dressed and I make my way to the dining room. Surprisingly Haymitch and Effie are already seated, eating breakfast. I'm sure they weren't speaking, but I can't help but feel like they have grown to not hate each other so much. But not by much.

"Morning sunshine, aren't you up bright and early." Haymitch mumbles. I think of Cob. He used to always call me that. I normally would be upset, but it makes me think of home, so I don't mind.

I sit down and grab a roll. I ask for a hot chocolate, before turning my attention back to Haymitch and Effie. "We need to move forward with your plan." I say bluntly. Haymitch is taken back by my statement. Effie turns to look at me as well.

"I'm sorry?" Effie questions. I roll my eyes. I wish they wouldn't play dumb.

"What do I need to do to convince the people that Katniss and I are more than friends" I look right into Haymitch's eyes. I don't have time for games, I want his advice.

He lets out a chuckle. "Well, well, well. See, I knew you were the smart one." He sits up in his chair and focuses on me. "It should be rather easy."

"Then what should I do." I cut him off.

He throws his index finger up to my face as if telling me to let him finish. "I said, _should_ be easy." He clarifies. "The problem isn't you, boy. It's her."

I'm confused. I'm not exactly sure what he means. He picks up on my confusion and continues. "You are likable. You have a way with words. You don't shoot arrows at the Gamemakers. Are you picking up on the pattern?"

I do. But I'm not sure what he is suggesting. "Well, then what do you suggest we do?"

He quickly swallows a swig from his flask before continuing. "I'm suggesting we keep her out of it. You two have to be coached for the interviews separately."

Effie and I both share a confused look. I'm not totally sure where he is going with this. I look over to Effie and she shrugs. She has no idea what his angle is. I turn back to Haymitch. "How are we going to convince anybody anything if she isn't even in on it?" I'm growing frustrated.

Haymitch stays surprisingly patient with me. "If Katniss were to go along with it, no one in the Capitol would believe it. She wouldn't be able to pull it off. It would be instantly unbelievable and you can say goodbye to any chance at sponsors. Now, if you at the interviews were to announce you undying love for this girl, the people would eat that up. Think about it. We don't need to depend at all on her acting ability. She would just give a genuine look of surprise. That's the icing on the cake." He concludes.

"Ohhh that's brilliant." Effie lets out. That is one of the first times I have heard her compliment him. She's right, it is. I still have my doubts though.

"How do you know I'll be able to convince them?" I ask. I look over at both of them, but they both are giving me a dumb look.

"Just be yourself." Haymitch gets out before Katniss strides into the room. I can't look at her. I don't know how she is going to react to the news that I'm asking to be coached separately. I just focus on my hot chocolate. She sits across from me and begins eating.

"So what's going on? You're coaching us on interviews today, right?" She asks.

"That's right." Haymitch confirms.

"You don't have to wait until I'm done. I can listen and eat at the same time." She says. She is chowing down as she speaks.

"Well, there's been a change of plans. About our current approach." Haymitch continues. I don't want to hear this. I almost want to get up and leave, but I know I shouldn't. So I remain seated. Looking indifferent.

She stops eating. "What's that?"

Haymitch shrugs. "Peeta has asked to be coached separately."

It is silent for a little while after. I try to remain a look of indifference. I think it's working. I feel her looking at me, trying to read me. After a while she finally responds. "Good. So what's the schedule?"

That hurts. She doesn't sound as if she cares at all. In fact, it sounds like she is relieved. I try not to think about it too much and I dip my roll into the hot chocolate again.

"You'll each have 4 hours with Effie for presentation and 4 with me for content." Haymitch answers. "You start with Effie, Katniss."

Effie and Katniss both quickly leave us in the dining room. I finally look up and meet eyes with Haymitch. As soon as Haymitch notices they are out of hearing reach he begins to speak. "I doubt you are going to need the full 4 hours, but she definitely will." I nod.

"Let's run through a couple of the sample questions. Let me see what I am working with." He continues.

At first it was pretty awkward. But after some time, I catch on and answer the questions with ease. He seems pleased with how easily this is coming to me. I'm making his job easy.

"Okay. Your approach is obvious, boy. You are charming and likeable. Get the crowd behind you. Your personality will perfectly blend with Caesar Flickerman's." He begins. I nod. Caesar Flickerman is the interviewer. He's been doing it for over 40 years, yet he doesn't look all that old. He is known for his bubbly and likable personality.

"How am I going to bring Katniss up?" I ask. I want to make sure I don't just randomly blurt it out, out of context in the middle of the interview.

"Well, Caesar has a way of bringing up romance in his interviews. Especially if the tribute comes across as desirable." Haymitch informs. I'm desirable? I'm not too sure he is right about that. "But if he doesn't directly bring it up, make sure you find a way to work it in, while still sounding natural." He continues. I nod.

After running through some more scenarios, out 4 hours are up and it is time for me to work with Effie.

She dresses me up in different outfits and teaches me about posture and smiling and whatnot. It all comes pretty naturally to me as I really have no problems pulling it off.

"Excellent. Excellent. Excellent work Peeta!" Effie exclaims. She seems relieved that it comes so easily to me. "If only Katniss could take a page out of your book." She says. I'm guessing she wasn't too good at this. I wonder what approach Haymitch is trying to take with Katniss.

The 4 hours fly by and I find that I'm pretty tired by this point. I eat dinner with Effie and Haymitch alone.

"Where's Katniss?" Effie asks Haymitch.

As if on cue, a smashing sound comes from Katniss' room. I'm assuming she is smashing dishes or something. I'm not really sure why. I guess her training didn't go so well today.

"She'll be eating alone this evening." Haymitch replies.

We share some small talk over dinner, but as soon as I finish I dismiss myself and I head right to bed. I throw on some pajamas and I crawl under the covers to fall into a deep sleep almost instantly.

Tomorrow is going to be a big, big, big, day.


	14. Chapter 13 - Star-Crossed Lovers

**This is the longest chapter yet, and one of my favorites. We are getting so close to the games! So be patient! Remember to leave a review so I know what you guys like and don't like! I try to get back to every single review!**

**Ryan**

**Chapter 13**

My covers are ripped off of me so quickly I can't help but jump up in shock. What I see before me is Portia and my Prep Team laughing at my reaction. I can't help but laugh with them. I don't think I could ever really get mad at Portia.

Before I know it, my Prep Team are going to work on my body. Cleaning me and doing whatever they can to make me as handsome as possible for the interview. After several hours of work, Portia comes in with my outfit. She is very excited about it. She is right to be, it is remarkable. It is a sleek, tight black suit with flame accents. It takes longer than I would expect a suit to put on. After a while, I get a chance to look at myself in the mirror. I am speechless.

"Portia. It is amazing. Truly stunning. Somehow you found a way to make me look presentable." I smile and look at her.

She laughs and lightly pushes me. "Stop it Peeta. Any girl in all of Panem would be lucky to have you."

I laugh and look down. For how much longer? Tomorrow the games start. This could be my last day alive. My smile has faded. I feel a pit form in my stomach. Grieving for my future yet again. Portia reckognizes this and puts an arm around me and rests her head against my shoulder. I don't think she wants to see me go into the arena either. Even without words, Portia finds a way to comfort me.

Eventually, it was time to go. I just can't wait to get this over with. I wonder how Katniss will react. I wonder if she'll believe me. I will be saying it for sponsors, but it doesn't make it any less true. I do have feelings for her. How far they go, I'm not sure yet. It is all irrelevant at this point though. I'll be dead soon anyways.

We meet with the rest of the District 12 crew in the elevator. We are all dressed up and looking good. I can't help but notice how radiant Katniss looks. I find that I keep steeling glances at her. She doesn't seem to notice me. Clearly she has already erased me from her mind. She is already in survival mode. I get more nervous thinking about what I need to say about her.

Soon after, we are escorted onto the stage with all of the other tributes lined up from District 1 all the way to District 12. I will be speaking dead last tonight. That gives me a great advantage as what I say will be freshest in the people's minds.

Katniss and I stand awkwardly next to each other. She won't even look my direction before Haymitch sneaks up behind us and gives us one last piece of advice. "Remember, you're still a happy pair. So act like it." He growls. Katniss looks confused by this. Her eyes finally meet mine. I give a soft smile and a nod. She just gives me a blank stare and looks away.

Before I know it, the interviews have begun. As promised, Caesar is bouncy and charismatic. He seems like a nice guy, except for the fact that he promotes the brutal killing of 23 kids each year. I try to focus on each interview. I try to plan what I will be saying when I get up there. I'm running different scenarios in my head. Before I know it, Katniss is called up to the front of the stage to join Caesar. I wonder what she has in store for us.

She doesn't talk about much. I notice how nervous she is, but Caesar does a great job covering it up. They mostly talk about the Capitol and her dress. She is able to avoid talking about herself on a personal level for the most part, which is probably a good thing for my plan. It wouldn't have been good if she talked about Gale. She caps off her interview with a twirl and the crowd goes wild. Her interview was a success. She didn't say anything that would hurt her. Now it's my turn. I close my eyes quick to compose myself before they call me up. I'm now relaxed. I'm in my element.

I walk up to Caesar with a wide smile. I walk up to him using the posture tips Effie had taught me. I'm actually surprised I found use of it. I shake hands with Caesar and I give the crowd a bow. The first part of the interview goes well. I make several jokes about the tributes, comparing them to bread. People got a kick out of that. I talk about the showers afterword and how strange they are to me.

"Tell me," I lean in close to Caesar. "Do I still smell like roses?" We have a short run of sniffing each other and the crowd is in a riot. I'm pleased I was able to make them laugh so hard. I can't help but wonder what my family will feel about this. Just then Caesar brings up the subject I was hoping he would.

"Now Peeta. There has got to be a girl waiting for you at home. Hmm?" Caesar asks, his smile wide.

I hesitate a second, and shake my head. I'm being very careful and particular about how I handle these questions. I have practiced this heavily with Haymitch.

"Come on! Handsome lad like you. There must be some special girl. Come on. What's her name?" He asks. His enthusiasm is contagious, but I need to act reluctant.

I sigh. "Well, there is this one girl. I've had a crush on her ever since I can remember." I'm being truthful. "But I'm pretty sure she didn't know I was alive until The Reaping."

The crowd sounds sympathetic. As if they can relate to me. As if they truly know what I'm going through. I need to hide my resentment. Instead I just nod with them.

"She have another fellow?" Caesar asks.

"I don't know. But a lot of boys like her." I say. Boys around school have definitely taken notice of her looks. But I'm not sure my statement is true. She always has been so quiet, and girls from The Seam generally don't get much attention. I say it to help her out. To make her as desirable as possible. Either way, I'm sure she is getting attention now.

"So here's what you do. You win, you go home. She can't turn you down then, eh?" Caesar looks pleased with himself. I can't wait to drop this bombshell on him to see his reaction.

"I don't think it's going to work out. Winning... won't work in my case." I add in just the perfect amount of heartbreak in my voice. Though, I'm not totally sure it's acting.

"Why ever not?" Caesar asks with great curiosity. I have the entire crowd at the edge of their seats.

"Because... Because..." No turning back now. "she came here with me." I get out.

Boom.

The crowd is shocked. This is something they have never seen before. A love story between two tributes. What tragedy! I focus my eyes downwards. I wish I could see Katniss' reaction. Was she surprised? Was she paying attention? Is she mad? Did she blush?

"Oh that is a piece of bad luck." Caesar finally gets out. There is a touch of pain in his voice. I truly couldn't have predicted the reaction. People are shocked. I even hear some faint cries.

"It's not good." I agree.

"Well, I don't think any of us can blame you. It'd be hard not to fall for that young lady." Caesar says. Yeah no kidding. "She didn't know?" He asks.

I shake my head. "Not until now." I finally get a chance to look up at the screen. The camera is fixed on her. She is blushing. Other than that, I'm having a hard time reading her expression. I'm sure the people of Panem are buying that she may feel the same way. But they don't know her like me.

I say my goodbyes to Caesar, and the crowd's cheers are deafening. I am more than pleased with how I did on the stage today. I accomplished everything I wanted. During the Capitol anthem, the cameras are focused on Katniss and me. I feel pretty awkward next to her. It sinks in. I just told the world about my affections for Katniss. My stomach does summersaults.

We take the elevator up with a bunch of the tributes that we will soon be fighting to the death with. It is silent, and awkward. I can't help but wonder what would happen if one of them attacked me. It is illegal, so I'm sure it wouldn't be good for them. It would be pretty despicable to hit someone when we are so close to the Games.

As soon as we reach our floor, I step out and I'm startled by an attack by Katniss. She pushes me to the ground where I fall into an urn that held some flowers. I feel a sharp, burning sensation in my hands. I'm cut pretty badly. It angers me. I'll go into the games tomorrow with these injuries, it could mean my death.

"What was that for?" I hiss at her.

"You had no right! No right to go saying those thing about me!" She shouts at me. This angers me. How can she be so ignorant to not see that this helps her? I figured she may be upset about this, but I never pictured this.

Haymitch, Effie, Portia and Cinna arrive on the scene and are shocked as to what they see. "What's going on? Did you fall?" Effie asks.

"After she shoved me." My eyes are glued to Katniss. I'm not happy. Cinna and Effie help me to my feet. I try to act like the cuts don't hurt. I don't want to look weak in front of Katniss.

"Shoved him?" Haymitch turns to Katniss. He looks like he is growing tired of her antics.

"This was your idea, wasn't it? Turning me into some kind of fool in front of the entire country?" She is now focused on Haymitch.

"It was my idea." I say. Which is sort of true. I can't help but wince as I pull shards of the urn out of my hands. "Haymitch just helped me with it."

"Yes, Haymitch is very helpful. To you!" She shouts. How can she be so ignorant?

"You are a fool." Haymitch growls at her. "Do you think he hurt you? That boy just gave you something you could never achieve on your own."

"He made me look weak!" She shouts.

"He made you look desirable! And let's face it, you can use all the help you can get in that department. You were about as romantic as dirt until he said he wanted you. Now they all do. You're all they're talking about. The star-crossed lovers from District 12." Haymitch's words were harsh. But he has never been the type to shy away from what was on his mind. No matter how harsh.

"But we're not star-crossed lovers!" She shouts. Yeah, well no kidding.

Haymitch grabs her shoulders and presses her against the wall. "Who cares? It's all a big show. It's all how you're perceived. The most I could say about you after your interview was that you were nice enough, although that in itself was a small miracle. Now I can say you are a heartbreaker. Oh, oh, oh how the boys back home fall longingly at your feet. Which do you think will get you more sponsors?" He makes several good points. Katniss pushes him off and starts to walk away.

Cinna stops her, "He's right, Katniss."

Katniss is calm now. "I should have been told, so I didn't look so stupid."

Portia cuts in. "No, your reaction was perfect. If you'd known, it wouldn't have read as real."

Portia comes over to me to help with my hands. Could it really be so insane to believe that she could actually like me too? Is it really that unbelievable to her? Does she think that no one could possibly buy that? I'm sick of her superiority. "She's just worried about her boyfriend." I say to Portia loud enough for everyone to hear.

"I don't have a boyfriend." She says. I don't even look up at her.

"Whatever. But I bet he's smart enough to know a bluff when he sees it. Besides, you didn't say that you loved me." I shake my head. "So what does it matter."

It's silent for a while. My emotions are all over the place. Suddenly Katniss speaks up again. This time, she is calmer. "After he said he loved me, did you think I could be in love with him too?" She asks.

"I did." Portia speaks up. "The way you avoided looking at the cameras, the blush." Portia can't hold back a smile. She's always smiling about something. The others agree as well. I'm the only one who doesn't speak. Instead, I put all my focus into my hands.

I don't know if I am angry with Katniss or not. I think I am more disappointed in her reaction. I was hoping it would be different. I guess I was naive. I can't exactly blame her for not feeling the same way about me.

Katniss looks at me. It is different than how she looked at me before. It is now a softer gaze. Guilt in her eyes. "I'm sorry I shoved you." She gets out.

"Doesn't matter." I shrug and let a small smile tug at my lips. "Although it's technically illegal."

She comes closer and takes a look at my hands. "Are your hands okay?" She asks. When she sees them, guilt immediately rushes over her face.

"They'll be alright." I pull my hands away from her. I turn to Portia.

"Come on, let's run to medical to get your hands taken care of." Portia says to me. I nod and I follow her.

As we walk I don't talk much at first. I feel empty. Today didn't go as I had hoped. I did it for the sponsors. But I also did it for me. For so long, I have felt a connection to Katniss Everdeen. I never had the courage to say anything to her. And now, with certain death knocking, I pronounce my feelings for her in front of the entire world, to get the reaction she gave me. I think I have just always been optimistic that maybe she felt the same way, and was too afraid to talk to me too. But I was wrong. I'm nothing to her. The only connection we have is that she feels like she owes me. Because I gave her a couple burned loaves of bread. I'm not sure why this surprises me. What's so special about me? I'm worthless.

I notice the tears building up in my eyes. I'm shaking. Portia pulls me into a tight hug. I needed this embrace. She is holding me together. "Peeta, what's going on in that head of yours?" She whispers to me.

"I just..." I let out a deep breath. "I feel so alone. And I'm scared." It hurts to admit. But I can't think of any other person I could tell this to. I don't think I could admit this to my brothers, or even my father. My mother is out of the question. It's weird how I feel so comfortable being so upfront with someone I've only known for a few days.

"Oh Peeta. You sweet boy. You don't deserve this. You are too good for these Games." She holds me tight. I wrap my hands around her, not realizing I am getting blood on her expensive outfit. She doesn't seem to mind. She hugs me for a little while longer before we turn and continue towards the medical room.

"Will I see you tomorrow?" I ask.

"Yes. You'll be with me all the way until you are launched into the Arena." She says. I shudder at the words. I cannot believe how close I am. I need to bury the thought, but honestly, I'm not sure I can. The scenarios are racing through my head. All of them come out with my death.


	15. Chapter 14 - Final Words

**First of all, I would like to thank all of the support I have gotten on this! I am really proud of it, and I am really happy you guys like it! I am pretty sure I have responded to every review, so keep them coming gang! Okay, so this chapter is not as good as last chapter in my opinion. Last chapter is one of my favorites, but I still like this one too. I can't wait til you guys see what I have for the games. Peeta goes through a lot of emotions, and I do something that I have yet to see anyone else do. I'm really excited to see your reactions to the games, but we are still a little bit away from that. Okay, I have been rambling on for far too long. Make sure to remember to drop a review so I know what you guys think!**

**Ryan**

**Chapter 14**

My hands are wrapped in bandages and we return to see everyone eating. By this point, I've been able to compose myself so that I don't appear to have been crying. We sit and eat our food. I can't help but notice Katniss looking at me constantly. She really does feel guilty, I can tell. I'm not sure how this makes me feel. I'm not angry at her, I just don't want to face her. I eat quietly.

Afterwords we all gather up and watch the interviews on television. I'm pleased with how well I handled the interview. It made Katniss and I look good. My announcement probably helped Katniss more than it helped me. But the closer I get to the Games, the more I feel like I don't want to win. I think if Katniss won and had the opportunity to return to her family, I would be just as happy. I'm not so afraid of death. I have accepted it at this point. I think I am now more afraid of becoming another person because of the games. Becoming like The Careers. If I die, I want to do so on my terms. I don't want to change who I am in the arena.

After the television goes dark, a sense of dread falls over us all. By dawn, we will be whisked away to the arena to fight to the death. The games begin at 10 tomorrow morning. Not much time left now. Haymitch and Effie come to say their goodbyes. This is the last time we will see them. Effie can't hold back the tears as she wishes us goodbye. She hugs us both tightly and gives us both kisses on the cheek. I find that I don't despise Effie like I did back in 12. Though she supports the Games, she is actually a sweet, caring woman on the inside. She scurries away to her room in a hurry before she breaks down.

Haymitch crosses his arms and looks us over. He is frowning.

"Any final words of advice?" I ask.

"When the gong sounds, get the hell out of there. You're neither of you up to the blood bath at the Cornucopia. Just clear out, put as much distance between yourselves and the others, and find a source of water. Got it?" I take every one of Haymitch's words in. He sounds stern, like he really cares that one of us makes it out. I'm starting to think he may.

"And after that?" Katniss asks.

"Stay alive." He adds. This time, it isn't so condescending. We stare at him for a couple seconds. I think I'm going to say something but Katniss starts to walk off, so I follow after a nod. I want to talk to Katniss tonight, I just need to stop her before she gets to her room. I'm still upset about earlier, but I feel like I can't leave things like that. I need to fix this before I die.

Before I get too far Portia stops me and gives me a hug. I look over Portia's shoulder to see Katniss look back at us before entering her room and shutting the door. I guess I won't get any final words with her. Maybe tomorrow, but I doubt it.

Since I will be with Portia throughout the morning tomorrow, I don't speak with her for too long. Just some quick goodnights and what to expect tomorrow morning. I give her a quick hug before slowly walking to the door to my room. I stand at the door for a few long moments before walking in without looking back.

I quickly hop in the shower before heading to my bed. I need to get some good sleep for tomorrow if I stand any chance at winning. I'm not totally sure I want to win though. I'm afraid of having to live with it. I'm afraid of becoming like Haymitch. Sleep doesn't seem like an option right now. There is no way I am going to be able to. Not with my head racing like this. Too many thoughts looming over my head.

I throw on a jacket and I head up to the roof. It is the only place I can breathe. The stress is killing me, I just need some fresh air. I lightly step my bare feet against the floor until I reach the door to the roof. I don't want to wake anybody. Though, I'm not sure that is totally true. I still want to talk to someone. Someone in particular.

I step outside into the cool air. It is dark out here at night, but I'll manage. I just need to let off some steam. Everything is moving too fast for me. So much has happened in such a short amount of time. It feels like it has all happened so fast, yet it also feels like an eternity since I was home.

Home. Oh, I miss it so much. I miss my family. I wonder how they are doing. Can my father sleep? I doubt it. I doubt my brothers are sleeping either. They will be okay without me. I'm not necessarily needed. It may make things easier on them, honestly. I would become a mouth less to feed, and the problem of space would be cut a person shorter. I'm not sure if these thoughts comfort me or not. All I know is that I have accepted death. Have I given up on myself in the Games so quickly? I think I still want to win. But if that were the case, why do I welcome death so freely now? I look over the edge. If I could jump right now, would I? I'm not sure I would. I don't want to go out without at least putting up a fight. I am just sick of being the Capitol's puppet. I look at the people, partying. It makes me sick.

"You should be getting some sleep." Katniss suddenly says, maybe a foot behind me. I wonder how long she had been there. I didn't even hear her come up here. I guess that is why she is such a great hunter. I think I am happy she is here, but I'm not sure. This will probably be the final conversation I have with her.

"I didn't want to miss the party. It's for us after all." I say without turning. I'm still looking down at the people. Katniss joins my side. We are standing close.

"Are they in costumes?" She asks.

"Who could tell?" I shrug. "With all the crazy clothes they wear here." I finally turn my face to her. Our eyes meet. "Couldn't sleep, either?"

"Couldn't turn my mind off." She lets out. I can hardly hear her. She is speaking softly.

"Thinking about your family?" I ask.

"No. All I can do is wonder about tomorrow. Which is pointless, of course." Her answer surprises me. She almost always has her family in her thoughts. No fault to her for not, just surprising. She looks down at my hands. "I really am sorry about your hands." She sounds sincere. I pull my hands away and place them to my sides.

"It doesn't matter, Katniss." I look away towards the ledge again. "I've never been a contender in these Games anyway." I can feel that I am frowning. I wish I could seem stronger in front of her. But I want to be honest with her. This will probably be my last chance to get this out.

"That's no way to be thinking." Her eyes are still fixed on me. I shake my head.

"Why not? It's true. My best hope is to not disgrace myself and..." I stop. I try to think of a better way to phrase this.

"And what?" She asks.

"I don't know how to say it exactly. Only... I want to die as myself. Does that make any sense?" I look at her. She looks puzzled as she shakes her head. "I don't want them to change me in there. Turn me into some kind of monster that I'm not." I get out. I am looking into her grey eyes. She bites her lip. I'm not sure she totally understands what I mean. Frankly, I'm not totally sure I get it either. It's just how I feel.

"Do you mean you won't kill anyone?" Katniss finally asks.

"No, when the time comes, I'm sure I'll kill just like everybody else. I can't go down without a fight." I get closer to her. "Only I keep wishing I could think of a way to..." I think of my next words carefully. "...to show the Capitol they don't own me. That I'm more than a piece in their Games." I say. I'm looking at Katniss intensely.

"But you're not. None of us are. That's how the Games work." She says.

"Okay, but within that framework, there's still you, there's still me." I try to explain. I am having a hard time articulating my thoughts to words. I really want her to understand. "Don't you see?"

"A little. Only... no offense, but who cares, Peeta?" She asks. I'm losing her.

"I do." I argue. I'm getting frustrated. How could she not understand? "I mean, what else am I allowed to care about at this point?" My eyes are locked in hers. She looks defensive. Like she is throwing her fences up. She is done humoring me with conversation. She backs away from me.

"Care about what Haymitch said. About staying alive." Katniss finally answers.

I can't hold back a sarcastic laugh. I turn my head away from her. "Okay. Thanks for the tip, sweetheart." I answer coldly, shaking my head.

"Look, if you want to spend the last hours of your life in the arena, that's your choice. I want to spend mine in District 12." She answers. She sounds annoyed.

"Wouldn't surprise me if you do." I say honestly. "Give my mother my best when you make it back, will you?" I ask sarcastically. I still do not look at her. I don't think I could if I wanted to. I'm too disgusted.

"Count on it." She quickly says. And just like that she is gone. That conversation didn't go as I had hoped. Though, I'm not sure I expected it to go any better. Katniss is too hard headed. Too focused on winning. If only she could see what I see. If only she knew how I feel.

I hang around the roof for a while longer before heading back to my room. I have a long night ahead of me. My mind is racing. My nerves are going to be too much on edge for me tonight. I'm doomed.


	16. Chapter 15 - Closure

**Alright ladies and gents, this is the last chapter before the games begin! This chapter is a little shorter than the last couple, but it still has a lot of great moments. Remember to review after you guys read so I know what you guys think! I will respond to all reviews, good or bad. Thanks again all, and Happy Hunger Games!**

**Ryan**

**Chapter 15**

The sun still hasn't risen.

I lie in bed, listening to the sound of my own breaths. I spent most of the night like this, not getting much sleep. This doesn't surprise me much. Suddenly I hear a knock on the door. I already know who it is. It is time to go to work.

Portia dresses me in simple clothes. My outfit for the arena awaits when we arrive. Portia is talking to me, but I'm ignoring most of it. My head is pounding. I can't stop thinking about what is ahead. Soon enough, I will be thrown into a deadly arena with 23 people trying to kill me. To die. Surely.

Portia and I make our way to the roof. I haven't seen Katniss all morning, but this does not at all surprise me. I'm not sure I want to see her to be honest. I think it would probably be best I never see her again. She could win this thing. She has all the ability to. I hope she does. We may not have gotten along over the past week, but I still wish the best for her. I still can't shake these feeling for her. The poor, sick girl digging through my garbage. Now the girl on fire.

Portia and I step onto a hovercraft. It takes off. I shake Katniss out of my mind. No use in thinking about her now. Now I need to come up with a plan. Haymitch suggested I stay away from the cornucopia. That is probably wise. Most of the tributes die in the first couple hours because of it. The only problem is, if I ignore it, I will have no supplies. My best bet is to stay away from the careers and others. Avoid fighting as much as possible. Find water, and shelter. Maybe try to find berries and other things like that to live off of.

I notice a man with a white coat approach me with a very large syringe. My first instinct would be to slap it out of their hands, but I freeze up. I am petrified of needles. That's when I notice Portia grab my hand tightly. She must have noticed my fear. I look at her, cringing.

"Now, Mr. Mellark, what I have here is your tracker. If you stay still, it will be easier for the both of us." The man in white says as he rubs some sort of liquid against my arm. He doesn't sound too friendly.

Portia grabs my free hand with both hands and squeezes tightly. I close my eyes tight as the sharp pain of the needle enters my forearm. The tracker shoots into my arm quickly, but I cannot help but let out a panicked yelp. The doctor pulls the syringe out. I open my eyes, only to be quickly escorted to another room in the hovercraft. Tight schedule.

An Avox girl directs Portia and I to a breakfast table. This will be my last meal before going into the arena. It may be my last meal ever. I don't let it go to waste. I eat as quickly as I can. Portia hasn't said much this morning. She looks worse than she usually does. I think it is because she isn't smiling nearly as much. I notice bags under her eyes. I don't think she slept much.

"Peeta." Portia finally says. I look up at her, my focus now off of my food. She hasn't eaten a bite. "You can do this. I believe in you." Her voice is cracking. It makes me feel uneasy. She always seems so in control, now she looks like she is falling apart. Her eyes begin to fill with tears. I stand up and make my way to her and give her big hug. "I mean it. You are really strong. And everyone loves you. You will be getting tons of sponsors. And... and-" Her voice cracks more and more as she speaks. She can't hold back the tears anymore, so I hold her for a little while. She has been there for me, now it is my turn.

"How unprofessional of me." She begins to pull away, wiping away the tears. She puts her hands at my shoulders. "I do mean it though, Peeta." Her eyes are locked into mine. I nod my head. I don't think I can. But I will try. Portia brings me in for another hug.

I think about my mother. About the last things she said to me. She didn't even try to make me feel better. In fact, she told me I had no chance of winning. All she did was make me feel bad about myself. She always has. Why? Why doesn't she love me? Why doesn't she treat me like she treats Cob? Am I the problem? I'm not sure. Cob is stronger, smarter, and better looking. Does that mean he is a better person than me? I don't know. Probably. But does that mean I don't deserve to be treated equally? I miss my father. I miss my brothers. I do not miss my mother. I don't know if that is good, or bad. Frankly, I don't care.

A half an hour of silence passes before we finally arrive at the arena. I am rushed through an underground passage of some sort. Finally, Portia and I arrive at the Launch Room. The room was built specifically for me, never to be used by another tribute again. Crazy.

The water feels great against my skin. I try to savor every second of this. This will surely be the last shower I ever take. After a while, I decide that I should probably spend the rest of my time with Portia, instead of the shower. I step out and change into the clothes the Capitol picked out for us. They are comfortable. Probably good for being outdoors, but I wouldn't know too much about that.

We mostly sit in silence. I can't help but think about what is to come. Usually Portia is so good at keeping me at ease. She isn't handling this well. Deep down she knows she will never see me again. Soon, she will watch me go out there and be brutally killed. It will probably haunt her until she dies. That sounds like a worse punishment than death. Maybe that is why Haymitch never got too close with Katniss and I. I don't think I would be able to handle it. It would destroy me. I reach out and grab Portia's hand. She looks up at me. Her eyes filling with tears. She gives me a small smile.

"I'll do my best Portia. I'll just take everything one step at a time. Me winning wouldn't be the craziest thing to ever happen in the games, right?" I finally say. I fake a smile. I want to make her feel better before I go in there.

"Thank you so much Peeta." She says softly. Her eyes fixed on mine. I give her a confused look.

"Thanks for what?" I ask.

"For being you." She smiles. I feel tears build up in my eyes. I am really going to miss her. I hug her tightly. I fight back the urge to cry. Suddenly, a voice announces it is time to launch. My breaths become short. I can't fight back the nerves. Slowly I stand up and walk into the launch pad. I turn and look towards Portia. She tries to compose herself.

"I'll be seeing you soon, Peeta." She says hopefully. She can't really believe I'm going to win this thing. I guess she can't let herself say goodbye.

"Of course, Portia." I say with a smile before a glass cylinder lowers between us. She takes a few steps back, eyes locked on me. Suddenly I begin to lift up into the arena. I watch her all the way until she is out of view. Never to see her again.

I am surrounded by darkness for what feels like hours. Probably no more than 20 seconds. Then, the sunlight blinds me as I am risen into a heavy sunlight. I rub my eyes for a couple seconds to adjust to the light. Suddenly I hear legendary announcer, Claudius Templesmith, booming around me saying, "Ladies and gentlemen, let the Seventy-Fourth Hunger Games begin!"

It is show time.


	17. Chapter 16 - The Countdown

**The Games Begin! Thanks again to everyone who has read to this point, it has been a joy to write, and read all of your reviews! Okay, I have some bad news, but it isn't too big of a deal. I will not be able to upload this upcoming Friday, so Chapter 17 will not be up until a week from today. Sorry about that, I just won't be able to upload. So, I hope you guys enjoy this Chapter, make sure to remember to drop a review! See you guys next Tuesday!**

**Ryan**

**Chapter 16**

60. 59. 58. 57. 56. 55...

The clock is moving too slow.

I want to just reach in and pull the rolls out now, but then I think back to what my father would always say. _You cannot rush perfection. _

"You don't have to stand there and watch the bread bake sunshine. It isn't going to go anywhere." I turn around. Cob. I hate when he calls me this.

"What are you doing up? It's my turn to ready shop." I reply tiredly.

He shrugs. "Wanted to make sure you wouldn't mess everything up." I hate when he treats me like a kid. He isn't too much older than me after all. Sure, I'm not even old enough to be reaped. I still have another year before I have that on my mind. Doesn't mean I should be treated as a baby. I know what I'm doing.

"Shouldn't you be asleep? The thought of the reaping later today keeping you up? You scared?" I ask. I turn towards the oven.

40. 39. 38. 37. 36. 35...

"Nah. I'm not afraid of that." He says. I simply cannot believe that.

"Yeah okay." I shake my head. I turn to look at him. His arms are crossed. "And how is that?"

He shrugs again. "Nothing to be afraid of." How can he be so nonchalant? He could be picked, he could die.

"What about dying? Not scary enough for you mister perfect?" I hiss. My frustration showing.

"I'm not afraid of dying. Want to know why?" He asks. I nod. He steps closer to me and puts a hand on my shoulder. "Because. If I somehow get picked, and die, I know you guys will be okay."

I stare at him for a couple seconds. Is he insane? How could he think like that? I would be terrified. If I ever came face to face with my death, I'm not sure how I would handle it. I certainly wouldn't be thinking about family. I would probably be thinking about a way out. A way to survive.

* * *

><p>20. 19. 18. 17. 16. 15...<p>

I'm running out of time. The games are so close to beginning. I want to just step off and begin running towards the Cornucopia now to get the supplies. Only problem is, I would just blow up from the mines set. I have to wait this out until the counter reaches 0. Then run for the forest. Take this one step at a time.

I look around at the layout of the arena. There appears to be woods behind me. Not sure what it holds, but that is my best bet. I see a big lake. Fresh water. Too close to the Cornucopia. Not safe. This is where the Careers will surely be living.

Then I see Katniss. She look as if she is going to make a run for the Cornucopia. She can't. She'll die. I try to make eye contact with her, pleading her not to. She looks back at me. I shake my head feverishly. She looks confused. Suddenly the gong sounds and the games begin.

It catches me off guard. I stumble off of the platform and almost fall to the ground. Great start Mellark. I hesitate for a second to see the people beating each other to death. It is all happening so quickly. I'll never unsee the brutality of it all. For however long that is. I see a backpack not but twenty yards in front of me. It could come in handy. I hesitate a second before sprinting forwards for it. I know I should be running for the forest, but this could help immensely. Plus, no one seems to be paying any attention to me.

As soon as I reach the backpack, an arrow fires right through the center of it. That close to death already. I look up to see the female District 1 tribute, Glimmer. She is maybe 5 yards away from me. She is tall, and beautiful. She has long blonde hair, she looks as if she wouldn't hurt a fly. Not until right now that is. Rumor has it she tried to sneak in a ring with a poisonous spike in it. She couldn't be proven guilty though.

"Don't move. Or you're dead." Her eyes are piercing mine. I have no choice but to drop the backpack and raise my arms. I need to think of something. Move, or not move, I'm dead. She turns her head to call for the other careers. Big mistake.

I take the opportunity to sprint towards her. She quickly looks back and fires the arrow, but I caught her off guard and she misses. I tackle her hard to the ground. My shoulder hit her hard in the abdomen, knocking the air out of her. My hands wrap around her neck, squeezing the life out of her. I press my thumbs into the center of her neck.  
>She looks into my eyes, pleading for life. Her hands scratching at my neck, but doing no real damage. She grows weaker.<p>

I'm killing her. I'm killing her. I'm killing her. I don't think I can do this. I said I would kill if I needed to. And she was surely going to kill me, I just don't think I have it in me right now. Can I really take another life so willingly? Have I already reverted to this? If only I had just turned and ran for the forest when I had the chance. Put all the fighting behind me. I can't do this.

I let go of her and sit back. She rolls over and fights for air, holding her neck. I look at her for a second before rising to my feet. I grab the backpack, then I try to escape into the forest. The adrenaline still rushes through my veins. I am shaking.

Before I can reach the tree line I am tackled to the ground. My face hits the ground hard. My head begins to ring from the contact. The person turns me over and lands a punch to my jaw. Just then I see who my attacker is. Cato. District 2 tribute. He is monstrously big. Probably the favorite to win it all.

"Hey bread boy. Not making jokes now, huh?" Cato hisses. He presses his hand tightly against my throat. His knees holding down my arms, I can't fight back. I am helpless. "It's too bad I dropped my sword on the way over here. I guess this will do though." He presses tighter. My body fights for breaths. But there are none to be had. I feel the pressure building in my face. I feel like my eyes are going to explode. My body tenses up. I am going to die. I can no longer feel my body. I think about my family. My brothers. My father. Katniss. Haymitch. Effie. Portia.

Then everything else fades away.

6. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. 0.


End file.
